IM 17, A SENIOR IN HIGHSCHOOL, AND I WANT OUT. Suicide is scary though, but I don’t wanna live anymore….I really need an easy way out. I hope to soon realize that I shouldn’t be afraid of death. I mean I want it so bad, yet it scares me. It’s effed Up.
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I do too.
For me it is a scary thought, but also kind of comforting.
Tell me if you find one please.
How old are you? I’m 17. It’s sad to know I wanna die before I’m 20…
This is not an easy way out. To end a life, whether it be your own or another is the worst decision you’ll ever have to make… and in the end- will you have the balls to do it?
I don’t want to tell my exact age, but I’m very close to yours. Just a few years difference.
Sometimes there is no easy way out. But giving in is never the answer. You’ve always got to think of the people around you, if they know or not, it’s going to effect them in a large way. The best thing to do is to just accept whatever it is you’re going through. Believe me, there is no moment in life which is worse then bringing your own life to an end.
im here if u wanna talk! ah it makes me so sad reading these posts but it reminds me that im not the only sad one here….i feel like the biggest outcast of all times but hang in there..ur stronger than u think
Do you talk over email?
I thought that talking on here would make me feel the slightest better, but it doesn’t. Eventually I hope to “gain the balls” to end my life. The sooner the better.
nobody, this site is perfectly fine in moderation, and the people here are really nice. however, it’s also very important to make sure that this isn’t your only source of social interraction. you also need to mix with people who aren’t depressed and suicidal.
OB1, I have my friends, but I hate bringing them down….then that’s one more reason to feel like shit.
sure, i can understand that. what are your interests? try and find websites with people that share the same interests as you do. you need to try and distract yourself from thinking about depression and suicide all the time.
I feel the same, and I tried the other weekend, if you do decide to don’t take a paracetamol od, I ended up in hospital over the rest of the weekend, throwing up every 5seconds, I had a drip put in because I was dehydrated, it was not nice and now I have everyone breathing down my neck watching me every second of everyday
s2419 would you mind if i could quote your comment for a post of mine? I’m going to start gathering stories of failed overdose attempts to attempt to dissuade people against it.
OB1, I have tried to thing about things that interest me…nothing’s appealing anymore. I don’t even wanna hangout or even talk to my best friends….I just don’t know anymore. I just don’t wanna feel anymore.
nobody, at the moment i am struggling with the exact same problem. all the things i used to be interested in – which were many and varied – i am no longer interested in. i envy duke of marmalade and his passion for horse racing. i wish i had something like that to focus on. maybe we just need to ‘fake it until we make it’ – pretend that we are interested in things. if we do that for long enough, maybe we’ll wake up one day and find that we have a genuine interest in them. i think i’m going to try that.
No you certainly don’t. The amount of money I’ve blown on them I could have bought a brand new lamborghini
Passion for gambling, girls and alcohol lead the the dark side OB1. I think that’s where it went wrong for me.
or a racehorse. we should all club together and buy one. name it “suicide project”. or “helium method”. or “cliff jumper”. yeah, that would be a good one for a steeplechaser. i’m going to email the jockey club.
I can’t even afford a greyhound right now. It will turn around on Sunday when the mighty Camelot wins the Arc. I’ve got a heavy weighter on it.
OB1, I have been pretending to be happy for so long, it just hurts me to now…I found a way of coping though. I cut myself. My friends disapprove veryyyyy much. I never actually showed them, but they seen when I wasn’t caring about who saw. I can’t fully open up to anyone…my comfort is cutting.
nobody, try hard not to cut or doing anything that harms yourself. it’s possible that your current ‘disinterested in life’ mindset will pass – if and when that happens you don’t want to be looking back and regretting doing certain things.
I did good for awhile, but last week I snapped. It was weird…I didn’t realize I cut myself until I saw the blood. Doesn’t make sense to me:/ how can I not realize I was cutting myself?
Nobody– You say “I thought that talking on here would make me feel the slightest better, but it doesn’t. Eventually I hope to “gain the balls†to end my life. The sooner the better.”
but I have to retort: If you want to prove you have balls, live your life… I used to want to die for something, and I later realized that it would mean more if I lived for it. I can’t say that I’ve found that something, I want to believe it’s “Love”, the real LOVE, not the Bulls*** this society is trying to peddle us now. It hurts to fail, it hurts to try, but I’d like to think that it only means that my attempts are worth that much more.
I used to cut too. right by my shoulder, because i was scared that anyplace else I would do more damage than I wanted. I would also go to school with a dog choke collar wrapped around my wrist, and every class i would tighten it, the pain displaced my fears of my surroundings.
But what hit me most was when my sister asked me “what makes you happy?” and I couldn’t answer. I know what it’s like to ache, and to feel numb. I’ve only been truly happy a few times in my life, and it scared the s*** out of me. Our comfort zone is an unhealthy place, but it’s easier to hold on to the devil, than to make a leap of faith for something better. I’m sometimes still too scared to let go, and the freefall before I’m caught freaks me out every time. I have a hard time trusting because I had to fend for myself for so long, I can’t let others do anything for me. So eternal trust in something bigger is as far fetched to me as an ice cube surviving the furnace… But there is light. There is hope. You might just be facing the wrong direction.
Stay Strong