Almost sober?

I haven’t posted in a little while. That’s because Life has certainly got a little hectic for me this past month;
Three of my friends, whom knew I was suicidal, told my headteacher, who then pulled me out of lessons and decided
to get me another therapist, and she also gave me a card that will get me out of any lessons if I get upset/overwhelmed.

I’ve started exercising, push ups, lunges, jogging. Drinking more water and less junk, I’ve attempted to sleep more but
my insomnia is proving difficult to push at the moment. The friend that mocked me for being a depressed selfharmer
is not speaking to me and I’m completely ignoring her. I have my friends, who’ve proven to be true  ones who’ve stuck
by me.

What I’m trying to say in this post is although I still have days that are dark, the clouds suffocate me and won’t leave me alone,
some days are becoming a little brighter. All this is down to trying and believing you can do it. The exercising is helping alot
in the sense that if ever I feel like cutting, I’d go for a jog and lose a few pounds instead. Support, love and care is what I’ve needed
and had but I never really saw it and I don’t think my family/friends really knew how bad I was until I started improving. I do still
cut on the odd, but I’ve actually been clean for a week and 3 days. Which I am proud of.

I know that it’s insanely frustrating and hard that when you’re stuck in an abyss of darkness and sorrow, it’s hard to climb out because
alot of the time you feel very alone and hidden away. All you really need is yourself, and after 2 years I’m nearly ‘Sober’ of my bad days
and I hope to get better by my birthday next year.

If anyone ever needs someone, you can always e-mail me jorddan-ox@hotmail.co.uk, and I will be here for you. Stranger or not. Everyone needs someone to lean on.