I’ve been feeling more okay than usual recently, but tonight it all changed.
It was triggered by just one thing that was said to me that made me feel bad, it wasn’t meant maliciously or anything and to a less fucked up person, it wouldn’t have meant anything because it was nothing.
But those words affected me in the way that words sometimes do.
I ended up lying on my bedroom floor in the darkness for an hour feeling numb and crying at the same time over everything and being beyond tempted to hurt myself.
I don’t feel much better now, I am tired of being me. I want to be somebody else, someone likeable and someone worthwhile and someone people actually want around.
I had made some progress, but right now I am back to where I was months and months ago, wanting nothing more than to disappear.
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2 comments
I am in the same boat. I was finally getting better and for whatever reason these past two days I have fallen back to where I was. The only thing keeping me from allowing myself to fall completley back into this depression is reminding myself this: “I was getting better, I can get better again.” Keep that in mind too, we can get through this <3
That happens to me also. It can be something said, or a song, or a thought. I slip right back into the sadness, grief and depression. Remember, if you aren’t you, and you were someone else…you’d wish you weren’t you again then either. Everyone in life has flaws and issues.