There, I just wanted to say that ‘out loud’.
You know when people ask you “how are you” (something that happens all the time) and you all you can say is fine/not too bad/I’ve got a cold? Well, what I want to say is that I feel awful. I have a growing sense of hopelessness/helplessness/self-loathing and it’s swallowing me up – suicidal thoughts are with me more and more.
It’s not imminent yet but I feel like I’m orbiting a black hole and it’s a matter of time.
3 comments
Hey I went through the same thing your going through. Email me sometime Natasha_Thomas@pcs.esu16.org 🙂 Talk to me. Just don’t end your life. I failed suicide 34 times.
ugh i know what you mean. when i do leave my room, and i see anybody other than than my family who knows whats going on, i have to suck it and be completely fake. and i know tears are about to pour out of my eyes, and sometimes they do, but i cant tell people why.
Thanks Natasha, I really appreciate that.
To MandM: I’ve wanted to tell someone that for ages. I don’t want to put it on people I know so it’s great to say it here anonymously – thanks for reading, anyone who’s read it 🙂