It’s only a matter of weeks. Not exactly sure when but everything is finally in place except the notes i will leave for the family and some fine details. i made out my will and split up my assets among my sisters and nephews.
I bought all the equipment necessary from Ebay and a few hardware stores plus a fabric shop.
That was very difficult to do but I got it done despite the depression. My mind is firmly made up. Taking myself out seems to be the only logical option considering my suffering.
My suffering takes the form of a spinal conditon that the doctors can not treat and Bipolar Type II major depression the past 10 years. The depression has spiraled out of control about 3 months ago.
I lost my true love a number of years ago and tried very hard to replace her but no one came close. It only frustrated me and made things worse. Being with a woman just made me think more and more of the one I loved.
I have very limited contact with my family so i’m fairly confidant they will not agonize over losing me. In fact they will be back on track in no time.
I would have done this last month but I did not have all the supplies necessary to carry it out. I will be waiting till possibly November to give me time to reflect upon my life. Plus the depression is alleviated for 5 hours per day by taking Adderall — a stimulant. But at all other times my life is a torture-fest.
I am interested in making friends with anyone else who is considering the same. I do not want to talk to anyone who thinks they can talk me out of this. I have suffered since the age of 20 and I am now 47. My time has come and gone.
I will post a hotmail email address in the comments section if anyone is interested in communicating.
5 comments
i wish you wouldn’t but i’m not going to tell you not to because its what you really want… and to be honest if i told you it was wrong and not to do it… i’d be a hypocrit because i want to go too.
Mike777,
I’m not going to try to talk you out of it, I’m interested in your method, I’m always looking for info and ideas, and one day I will probably do it myself.
Hey Mike777,
Just one thought… if you say you are interested in making new friends, then maybe you still do have one reason not to do it. Also, you don’t need someone in your life to make you feel good about yourself. I am learning how to live without a significant other after a rough break-up and it sucks but eventually it gets better. Peace be with you. God Bless.
To the above person, I only want to make friends because I am a bit afraid and would like to communicate with someone else who’s in the same boat. It is a hopeless situation i am facing.
add my email jrmichieli@hotmail.ca or my fb jaime michieli , id like to hear your story