I’ve wanted to kill myself a lot lately. It’s mostly because of school, too. I’m a junior and I feel like I’ve already ruined my life because I was such a dumbass the past couple of years and now I’ll never get into a good school. Neither of my parents are wealthy people, in fact they’re quite the opposite and I hate living like this. I don’t want to be like this for the rest of my life. I’m trying so hard in school but I’m so fucking stupid that no matter what I do, even if I turn everything in I still fail half of my classes. I’ve told my mom that I wanted to be home schooled because I feel like I’d do a lot better that way and I could get a job and not have to worry about money so much anymore. Â But she refuses to listen to me. Like no matter what I do, she’ll just keep watching TV like I’m not even there. I can’t explain to her how I feel because she won’t listen to me. I have a couple friends and an amazing boyfriend that I love to death but it’s not fair to them to dump my problems on them, and I don’t think they would get it anyways. I’m also sitting in my room and crying and my mom keeps coming in and out and just pretends I’m not there. I’m sick of this. I’ve never felt so alone and trapped and stressed and sad and hopeless in my life. I’m not sure I’m ready to kill myself quite yet but it’s getting there pretty quickly.Â
1 comment
Precisely what problems are you having in school? If you aren’t retaining the information during class, you could try self study at home. If your work enviorment is too loud or distracting, you should find someplace else. Ask questions during class if you don’t understand. Also make sure to get enough sleep and eat properly.
If going to college is really what you want i think you can do it. Maybe the reason your grades haven’t been where you want them is because of all your stress. You could try setting out a specific time to talk to your mother. Tell her you want to eat lunch with her one weekend or something, and show her you’re serious about homeschooling. You could also try talking to your school counseler about all this.