Loneliness

During a drive I wasn’t going anywhere particular just driving and looking at  life pass me by through the windows.  Slowly over the years I find myself more unable to connect with the outside world I slowly become more paranoid and less trustful of the strangers I see.  I even find it hard to leave the house to go to a shop, I was going to get a book I was interested in that’s why I was originally in my car until I turned around and just drove around aimlessly, not the first time that’s happened.  I used to pass the time playing the xbox, playstation but that just isn’t doing it any more   I don’t keep in contact with friends I have made and let them disappear from my life they do try to connect with me again from time to time but I tend to just let fade away from me again I don’t know why I do this.  Somepeople are just made to be broken I guess.  As to my thoughts of suicide I just want to go no fuss just disappear as like I never existed been like this awhile but recently I just think its time I went.  But I did order my book online so the day wasn’t completely wasted just thought I’d lighten the mood a little bit after my rant.