My Story

So, my life started pretty bad from the get go. I was born in a jail, because my mother was into drugs. My dad left. Well, when I was three, I had to leave my mom because she wasn’t stable, and had to have rehab. So I lived with my gramma. Up until the age of6, I was raped by someone I blocked out of my memory. My gramma abused me all those years as well. DCF took me out of there, and placed me in a foster home, that adopted me when I was 9. Well believe it or not, but after a while, this family got very abusive as well. I couldn’t trust anyone. I wasn’t allowed to get out of the house or my room even for that matter. I was later diagnosed with depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder. And I truly was depressed. I was running away a lot, and was actually on the news a couple times. The first time I considered self harm was when my emo friend said she cut herself, because it was fun. I decided that it was a good coping mechanism, so I started when I was 13. Well, as I went on, I started smoking, and I would burn my thighs and cut them as well. I just went downward after that. I was writing suicide stories, and considering suicide a lot. Well, one day I was fed up. I grabbed an electrical cord and set it up on a hook in my front porch. I made a noose, and actually hung myself. My last thought was this is it, and thank God I got it over with. It was officially my time to go. Well…actually, it wasn’t. My adopted mother just so happened to open the door at that exact moment. She saw me, and lifted me up,saving my life,saving me from…me. I was given help after that incident. And i cried…not because I was so mad I couldn’t complete the act, but because I wasn’t meant to be dead, because I was worth more than that. I am meant to be int his world, just like anyone and everyone else. It gets better. It really does. I couldn’t be more happier. The thought of harming myself is so far behind, I feel like a new person. I am so glad that I didn’t, and if you are considering this , please don’t. I am begging you to get help, because I know what you are feeling. And I guaranteed to you that life gets better. And even if your situation doesn’t, your state of mind can. Don’t drown in self misery, but learn to find life in everything. Your life is so important, as was mine, I just didn’t see it until later. Please listen to my story, and I hope this can touch some of you…Thankyou.