Do non-suicidal  people feel like they did/do a “good deed” by “helping” others? I mean what’s the agenda here?
Or
Are you guys ginuine people that want to help and be a part of people’s lives? To actually try to understand and not push a bunch of shit up someone’s ass?
I guess I do not understand if you feel like you have to save us for you, or save us for some other reason.
 Anyone may comment but the question is for understanding of non-suicidal participants on this site.
62 comments
i’m suicidal with a small “s”. and that’s not just because i always use lowercase letters. what i mean is that it’s not a constant wish. sometimes i want to live.
i don’t come here specifically to help people. i come here because i’m bored and i don’t really enjoy anything else at the moment. and because it has become a habit.
Im a depressed suicidal individual, so this may not count. Being a skeptic, who has been crapped on by the whole world my entire 30 yrs. I have this for an answer to the question of what’s their agenda; Say a happy person has a bad day, their stocks went down, burned the family dinner, or they had a bad day at their “wonderful job”. Well, this person says to themselves, “oh i could just kill myself” but they dont mean it its an expression. they type it into google, and find people like you, or me. The people who dont have a wonderful job, or like me, lost their child. So they read our thoughts, try to tell us we can be like them, all we have to do is wait another 10 yrs, it will get better(didn’t work), or find god(if there is a god, he crapped a big one on me, the only reason id find him/her is to give a piece of my mind). Then, So called “happy person” has found someone who has it worse than them, and they “helped” it gives them an instant boost of “i did something good for the less fortunate!!”, and they also get reminded of how good they have it, and they win twice!!! Again, this may not count, as im not “non-suicidal”. Just the two cents of a perpetual loser
Does wishing you were dead because your life is so messed up you have lost the will to live make you suicidal? I mean at what point do you actually classify your self as such. I think about dying just about very hour of everyday but I don’t have a plan and have never made an attempt, instead I’m just trapped in this state of wasting away in constant mental anguish. At what point is a person actually suicidal?
If you want to know why I am commenting on your other post, I seem perfectly fine to you and very optimistic. If I was to reveal my other side, you would disappear fairly swiftly. Suicide always seems like a bad decision when it’s someone else.
I think some people actually want help that’s why these people are here helping them. Me personally I think it’s annoying because there’s nothing they can do or say to change my mind about my fate. I hope this answered your question and if it didnt then sorry 🙂
Mimito I can’t answer that for you. Maybe someone else can though.
I maybe didn’t get out of my thoughts what I meant exactly. I wonder if the “helpers” are like crusaders trying to save the world. Or is it that they get self-fullfilment from helping others. Or what is it exactly. Sorry if this is hard to explain. I know that when I do help and listen to others, it is because I ginuinely care for people, not that I have a hidden agenda. Like I’m checking off and checklist in life. (check-helped a suicidal person choose life) What do they get out of it? A better feeling inside or a real friend?
Whenever I see a therapist and describe my situation they always ask me if I’m suicidal? I say I don’t know, but I’m actually more afraid that I won’t kill myself and just how much pain I will actually end up enduring than whether I will. I guess the there comes a point when the fear of life becomes greater than the fear of death. I wonder what or when that point will be?
DoM if you heard my thoughts and life story, you would just up and disappear.
well said mimito, that about sums up the answer for your first question, and really speaks to me, because i am not scared of much, but what really scares me is, someone finding out im suicidal, and taking my gun, or finding another way of keeping me in this pain for longer. and basically my fear is not whether i will kill myself, but whether i wont
jael, if you want to talk about it i can listen
I am not sure if I have enough time to explain every thing. Besides, it’s probably another long sad story you have heard here before.
I’ve asked this question several times. I think that for anyone to do anything there has to be something in it for them. It’s like asking someone in the street that walks up to you and starts a conversation why are you talking to me. Maybe there’s something they like about you.
You are trying to assess how genuine people are. Ive been on this site almost a year, I’ve seen them all. I think that everyone on here posts or comments because they are getting something out of it. I don’t think that’s always a problem. Sometimes the most suicidal people are overlooked because they are deemed uninteresting. Occasionally people from the chatroom cone here and scout around.
The truth is, if I was capable, I would be away and gone drinking the finest champage, eating lobster and blowing my money in the casino’s. At the same time I experienced something here that I wouldn’t have otherwise even if ive outgrown it a little.
I feel really conflicted when someone on here is actually right on the verge. A couple people on here have posted that they are going to end things that night, for example someone named @itsmytime came of here a few days ago and said he was going to end things within the next few days, I wanted to open up a dialog with him at least to try and understand his circumstances without judgment, he explained a bit about his life and then didn’t return. I’m still wondering what happened? Was there something I could say at that point? I really dont know, but my heart goes out to those that are alone in pain and facing the end, I just have no idea what to do or say, I can barely keep coherent thoughts these days let alone talk someone down from the ledge. There are some very compassionate people on this site, I see them trying to help others and it appears that they are actually successful to a certain extent. But the ones that come here to preach and talk all that hope stuff when they really don’t know what it’s like can be pretty annoying at least for me.
Okay, I am understanding a little more DoM.
Right mimito. I see that people get annoyed with some of the “helpers” on here. I was trying to get insight.
i think it’s really hard, if not impossible, to do something if you’re not getting anything at all out of it. i know that, if i didn’t gain some enjoyment from being here, i wouldn’t visit anymore. certainly not in the long term, anyway.
maybe im wrong, or not normal, but it would seem to me that if someone stopped me from commiting suicide, when im all set, and good to go. They really arent doing me a favor. its like more time added to the sentence
OB1, i do have to admit im in a better mood now, that i came here, and talked to ppl who think like me. i guess you could say i enjoyed being here
eric, i believe it is impossible to always stop someone who genuinely wants to commit suicide.
Maybe they are just anti-suicide. Have you thought about that. The very word suicide is the menace in society that they have taken upon themselves to rid the world of once and for all.
I am depressed at times, but rarely disclose that information here. I definitely have my bad moments and I’ve done a very short (voluntary) amount of time under psychiatric care and I take my Zoloft everyday. I write in because I feel like I can relate to most of you more easily than family, neighbors, most friends. My job requires me to be what society wants to see. I guess to me, this site is my time to be myself. I admit that I often step on toes, but let’s face it, conventional thoughts and methods don’t work for us.
wow, you guys really impress me, this is my first time here, and i havent seen anyone who is really selfish, and i can spot selfish from miles
I was expecting more people that were only on here to “listen and help” and not like us to answer what they get out of saving us. But now I’m glad to see what you guys think.
and i had lost faith in all humans
Conventional thought is boring. We must all defy convention.
I’m human…and I think everyone lost faith in me.
jael, try again later(like 8PMish), there may not be many of those people here, it is quite early
you need not care about other’s faith, its YOUR faith that really matters
You’ve got me all wrong. I’m not a helper guy. The issue that you have raised is something that I’ve raised several times on here. Most of the Helpers abandon you in the end, once they’ve had their fill. The Guardian is the only one I can think of that’s at least stuck it out to some extent.
If (yes, if) I am not around after tonight, I really want to express my appreciation to you guys for getting me through today. It has made my day better than most days that have come to pass. Thanks.
hey jael, good luck, i do wish the best for you, and i appreciate what you have done for me today, too
You said that this was your first time on here. We’re glad to have you. Whether you’re here to rant, get advise or just listen, we appreciate you being here.
DoM I do not think you are a helper. I think you are a person, a ginuine person so far as I can tell. I was half expecting (only because I saw the post while I was posting) danaisa941 or someone like them to answer.
Nolen I have posted here before today. I also post on other sites as well. But as you read, I was waiting for something to change. Something in me to change before I go. Shitty as it sounds, something like a sign that I should stay.
DOM, ive been reading from you today, and i have the utmost respect for you, i wouldnt put you with the “weeknight warriors” getting their fill of charity, and going on, obviously, you understand a lot more than them, and you are a strong person who has beaten what i cannot. if anyone is going to do good here, it is ppl like you
jael, i hope to talk with you again, dont do anything before 12/21/12! Ive got to see what(if anything) will happen
If today was better than most, maybe it’s a sign of better things to come. I know that probably sounds like some “chicken noodle soup for the soul” b.s. and that’s because it is. Tomorrow may very well be shitty, but I’ve grown fond of your posts and comments and I’m somewhat of a narcissist, so if you don’t mind sticking around longer, for my entertainment, amusement and pleasure, I would be thankful.
sometimes just talking to people can be incredibly comforting – especially if you’re feeling lonely. it doesn’t really matter if it’s not the ‘conversation of the century’ or anything you’re likely to remember when you make up tomorrow morning.
regarding helpers ‘abandoning’ people, i think it’s unrealistic to think that people can stay forever. i think seeing it as being abandoned is a negative way of looking at things. time and people move on – it always has and always will be that way. i am not in regular contact with 90% of the people i regarded as good friends ten years ago. i never fell out with them, i just don’t see them daily and have gradually drifted apart from them. i don’t have the time or inclination to try and maintain contact with everyone i have been friends with. it’s just not a realistic prospect, even if i wanted to do it.
im with nolen
I haven’t beaten anything. This is just a bit of a going day. I’m not as sharp as usual because I’m heavily sedated. In general, I’m not irrational. I’m quite realistic. It will always be under consideration for me. As I get older I expect to hit a brick wall and once again be ready to push the button. I’ve discussed the matter with my family, that’s how serious I am about it. Obviously they are mortified but I explained it the best I could and just to prepare for the worst.
There are people on here from “all walks of life”, with different issues, perceptions, concepts, faiths, methods of handling issues, medications, dreams, you name it. If you ask any of us, I’m sure we would all want you to stay. Maybe there are 20 something THOUSAND signs right in front of you.
I see a distinction and it’s not always easy to identify, but there are many times when someone on here is emotional or young or something else that makes me believe in time things will change, that there will come a time that they will be glad they didn’t end things, that it truly is just a passing phase of life. Those people I think should be talked to and persuaded as much as possible to be strong and keep living. And whatever it takes to get through the day. And then there are those that have lived longer and are very determined for whatever reason and it’s like they are just here to say goodbye or to get a hug or two before they go, people like this I am most conflicted bie. I really don’t know how to feel at that point, and yeah like people have said talking them out of a plan might not necessarily be a good thing. And then there are the majority of the people here that are severly depressed and usually isolated and alone and looking to connect to other humans anyway they can because they’re having the life verse death debate in there own heads so much that they need to get some perspective or validation, most of us seem to be at the crossroads looking for someone to talk to or listen to hoping that somehow it will make us feel better or else maybe solidify our resolve.
dom, you talked about it with family? and they actually understood? did they call you names? or try to commit you??, im curious, because those are my fears if i was to tell my family
Wow Duke, you’re pretty impressive. I’ve always seen your replies as witty and well thought. If you’re heavily sedated, I’ll bet you’re a fu(k!n force to be reckoned with off your meds.
No, my mum was very worried. She then told my dad and they were very supportive. They won’t risk it. My mum now texts me regularly. I just wanted them to think I had emigrated or was having a good time somewhere and not dead. Sometimes it makes me sad thinking how they can find me with a helium tank or my brains blown out.
Now I feel like saying just listening to you guys makes me think of what it would be like to stick around longer. But one day of post/comments can’t save me from the life I have and want out of. In all essence, I have a feeling of fellow suiciders “saving” me in a way although I’m not really sure where this is going. My thoughts were so clear on getting things done, now, tonight…and yet I’m conflicted with my thoughts about people and this site. I am now lost in thought…..
yes, the only reason im still around is the thought of my dad finding me looking like Bud Dwyer (politician who blew his brains out on live TV, find it on you tube if u r curious), or having to clean up my brain matter from the walls, and ceiling. but i have a plan, and ill just do it in a hotel room, after my next birthday (new years). unless i can get some heroin, then i dont care who finds me, as long as its been a few hours, and no nar-can could save me
actually the bud dwyer video really affected me a lot, i think it may stop some people, but then there would be the few who watch, and tthink its a good idea
jael, are you over the age of 25?
yes, 27
We will find a way to take something out of life. A sweet victory.
just dont be too hasty jael, i dont want you to suffer, but i dont want you to end it if it can get better, i dont know what to say, cuz i feel like a hippocrate, i guess if anyone is going to do it, they should plan it out, set a date a few weeks ahead so you can back out if things could get better, if after an extended time, you cannot get any better, then think about it again. just dont be too quick, there is always another day to do it, u know.
I did not pick a date, but this has been planned for a while. Suffering is minimal, I hope. Can not be worse than suffering through life. I have not always stuck to my plans, but I only need one chance…I will not fail if I go through with this.
this is to Mimito: having suicidal thoughts makes you suicidal, most people start like you are then it just gets to much to handle, so then they make a ‘plan’, but its generally just an idea of how you want to go, but actually committing suicide is generally a spur of the moment thing.
Why is it wrong to try and help others?
S2419. I agree, in that sense I am suicidal. I just haven’t committed yet
Scar504 no one said wrong. Just questions for a better understanding.
My apologies for misunderstanding. I am indeed going to kill myself, though, like a few others i don’t have any intention of disclosing the reasons on here. I suppose i would be labled as a “helper” type though. Speaking for myself i suppose the reason is quite simple. I think it’s good to improve the state of the world as is possible regardless of how meager a change it may be. If anyone here who is a “helper” claims not to be so for their own interest then they’re simply mistaken, or dishonest. Everyone is here because they get something from being here, and like Duke said i don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
I try my best when writing responses to work my way into peoples mind. To understand what’s wrong and try to help. I was actually getting quite discouraged for a while because many people don’t reply back. There are, however, a few who i’ve “connected” with and regularly keep in contact with. Personally, i’m willing to continue engaging with someone for as long as they’ll hear me. Weather that makes me “ginuine” is of no concern to me.
Thanks for the insight Scar504. I think like you to an extent.
Would it help any to post my story? Or is that irrelevant by now? I posted a very short intro before, but not detailing anything. Ok, maybe I should go ahead and give up. I’ve waited a while for this day.
If you think it will help i think you should. Are your problems reconcilable?
Scar504 I’m not sure if it would help me or help others maybe, but no they are not reconcilable.