Stay or go?

I don’t really know what to write. Don’t really even know why I’m here. Well lets start off by saying I’ve been depressed for ATLEAST a year. I don’t honestly really even have a reason, I just want to leave this cold world and never have to deal with anything or anyone again. Well last saturday, like a week ago me and my mom went to dinner with her ex and a boy he works with, we kept smiling ar each other, and were throwing ice at each other. And then afterwards we went to the movies, held hands the whole time and gave me a big hug bye. Nothing big, but I had it bad for this guy. We hadn’t exchanged numbers or anything cause he apparently has to ask his parents if he can text someone and they are extemely strict but I think it’s ridiculous since he’s 17.  Well his parents refuse to let him talk to me because of age difference, even my mom said it’s not big difference. I was happy the entire week, being happy feels great, considering i hadn’t been that happy in forever and didnt know what it felt like. I got on this website all the time and when I got on it while being happy I was all like “these people are crazy why are they so depressed.” Well since last night, saturday, I’m back to being depressed me. I feel I had a reason to be happy and now I don’t. I’m back to cutting myself, and planning my suicide. I loved being happy but it seems happy isn’t something god wants me to be. I don’t know whether to stay or whether to go. If I go nobody would care.. I don’t mean anything to people. Nobody understand what I feel and go through everyday. If I left, nobody would think anything of it. They’d just go on with their life and be happy I’m not in it anymore.