I’ve been down a hell of a road.
my heart has been broken not just once, but twice. Â I dwell on EVERYTHING negative. I’m just no good. I’m struggling with severe depression. :'(
I have considered killing myself, which is still on my mind. I no longer see a reason in living…
Then today happen.
I’m a senior in high school and it his week is homecoming week. I have been watching all my friends laugh and smile, i was jealous. Lately I’ve been feeling the worst I’ve ever felt. I was planning to kill myself this weekend. I had everything set up.
“are you okay Jez?”
Those four words just made me breakdown. My friend took me in her arms and told me just to let it all out. So I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore.
“your hurting Jez, I don’t know why but I know you are. You don’t have to tell me the reasons or anything if you don’t want to, just know that IM HERE FOR YOU.”
I’ve never had anyone ever tell me that with so much meaning. At that point is when I realized that I can’t give up now.
its silly how something like that Gould just change my mind. I do cut myself, but I know that as time goes one, one day I will be strong enough to stop. I’m haven’t touched my blade for 5 days and I’m damn proud of myself.
im waking up. <3
email me anytime. Jesaraylynnsuazo@gmail.com
9 comments
I’m not trying to be disparaging, but it is likely that some of those feelings will come back. I’m just saying be prepared. It’s awesome that you feel strong now; make that strength last. The key is consistency. Sounds like you have a nice friend.
I know exactly what you mean. All I can do is hope to stay strong because I know that it’s gonna be hard as ever. I wish that there was a switch to flick, ya know?
And my friend, she was the last person I expected to care…turns out she cares the most.
God, you are right about that. How I wish there was a switch. Still, maybe this can be a snapshot to hold on to during the darker days. Maybe I should try to fish one out for myself. i’m glad you have today.
Me too. Like I’m not saying I’m magically better, but today felt like a new start…ya know? I didn’t even know she realized how hurt I was…my best friends didn’t even figure it out.
Good girl. Youre doing really well. Ill send you an email next week if that’s ok
Yah, go ahead and send me one(:
honey, this is inspiring. i’m so happy your getting stronger, i’ve been through that too, and it took a best friend about 3 months to get me to stop cutting. but she did..i’m back to it now, i just wish someone would say those 2 strong words.
“whats wrong?”
Thank you, and me too. I just hope I have the will power to stay strong and not to cut…do you wanna email me? I’m hear to listen to youu. If you let me, I can try and help?