I really dont know anymore. After going through depression since leaving high school 12 years ago, through to today, Ive just had enough. I dont mean that in a violent, angry or emotional way, I’m just tired of it all.
The usual stories blah blah, yeah Im married (its not an easy one but we do love each other), have 2 great kids, which frankly are my world. In fact, if not for them I’d be gone right now. I cant abandon them, but dont feel like I should be here anymore. Its weird.
Im not well off financially, have a boring standard lower middle class admin job but thats not the problem, I don’t think theres a job in the universe I’d actually enjoy. Maybe matress tester? Anyway, Im really at a loss tonight. I kiss my kids goodbye everyday and hold the moment, never knowing if I’ll decide to run into a tree or something on the way home. I havnt yet, and frankly im too much of a sissy to actually do it, but I constantly think about it.
Im tired. No interests anymore, slowly deteriating health (all my own fault, I eat bad, drink and dont exercise).
Guess I’ll just try get some rest. Kids are sick, have been really wearing me down but I have to be there for them.
Love them more than life itself. Maybe thats my answer..
5 comments
adopt a dog
Adopt a dog and take it for walks everyday! A friend to tell your problems to, and an exercise buddy in one.
This post makes me very sad.. I don’t really know what else to say about it.
And dog’s are loyal.
all good Lou, I dont really know either.
I also don’t think I’d be here if it wasn’t for my kids. In fact, I know they keep me from doing all kinds of crazy shit.
I talk to a counselor and it does help. He’s someone I can be totally honest with and will tell me I’m not crazy.
Your kids do need you. It breaks my heart when I read posts on here from young people whose parents don’t care about them, and they’re going through so much. It’s not fair.
Hang in there, you’re a good mom, and that’s worth so much.