Friends..

Hello incomplete…sorry you are hurting…and that you feel like your friends abandoned you…it sucks. I’ve been there…turns out I was soooo toxic to be around…and it was so painful to watch me destroy myself…that they walked away to save themselves…after emptying their box of tricks to try to save me. I remember how hurt I was. At one point…my lowest…everyone walked away…friends, family everyone but a very new friend and virtual stranger…turns out she could totally relate…and we’ve helped each other since that time…she made me believe that I was worth saving. I hope you find that kind soul yourself…maybe even here on SP…who knows…I was an old woman before I finally found a true friend that could see past my pain…and loved me even when I couldn’t or wouldn’t love myself…but it will happen. People who have never suffered from a severe depressive episode nor had suicidal thoughts…well…they just can’t understand now can they.

Let’s say I told you that I was terrified of horses…and I am…er was…hahaha…but you had grown up around horses and perhaps excelled in Dressage let’s say…well you couldn’t understand what the hell my problem was now could you…it has never been your experience. Mental and emotional illness is much the same…if you have never suffered…how could you even begin to understand beyond…ooohh…I get sad sometimes too…and that ain’t what depression is now is it?

There are lots of folks here that are able to relate to you…so if I could make a suggestion….just for now….come here to talk and look for help…who knows you may find it…and when you are doing okay…give your best to your “real’ time friends. Introduce your issues slowly and not during a crisis. What do you think? Am I nutz?

Here to listen and help if I can
Amakua