i dont know where to turn

I don’t know where to begin but I’m just going to JumpStart. My step dad just had a stroke and my moms spending every night at the hospital for a month. She says that he needs her and that I don’t and that seeing her for an hour is enough. My sister has anger issues and she usually takes it out on me and tells me so much stuff that I wish I hadn’t herd like her abortion. My mom and my sister are always yelling in front of me and it gets brutal. I see my normal dad once a year and I don’t think he really cares about me. So I’m with my grandparents and their wonderful people but they expect me to be fine.Not only am I having family issues my grades are in the gutter. No matter how much I study I seem to fail in every class. My teachers have told me that if i dont get it i will never get it and that what i say makes no scence.Its also really hard to talk to people at school because they seem so stuck up like its a hastle to talk to me and I hate it. So yes I actually want to die so it can all stop because it feels like I’m being dragged every where and holidays and celebrations don’t mean anything any more and I can’t stop thinking about what I could have done in a situation. So please I just need some andvise.