I guess I should talk about when this all started. Everything started after I moved back in with my mom my freshman year of college. I started getting depressed. It wasn’t bad…I was still able to go to school and work hard. There were more good days than bad. It only got worse as time went on. I began to hate everything, school, work, my family. Today, 5 years later I’m flunking out of college and all I can think about is killing myself. To me there is no other option. My life is going no where and I’ve become a burden on my family.
Everyday I get up and pretend it’s alright for my mom, so she doesn’t know how bad it really is. Because she can’t handle it. The last time I tried to talk about it to her she said I was just crazy and she didn’t have time to deal with it. My grandparent’s care and they got me out of my last jam with school. They believed in me and all I did was let them down that’s all I seem to do to anybody, let them down, and be a big disappointment.
I really want to die…but I’m scared. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me or where I am going to go if I end it all. That’s the only thing stopping me at this point. I think though before long, it’s not going to be enough anymore and I am going to take my own life. I don’t know what to do anymore.
2 comments
Taking your life is not a wise choice life is made of choices its up to you to make the right one I can only guide you I can’t force anything but i can make offers like this one if you don’t go you have my never dying heart and friendship
School isn’t everything. I’ve been there, where it feels like if you fail the whole world is worth nothing. They love you more than whether you achieve or not. What they care about more than anything is that you live. It really doesn’t matter so much what they think tho, it matters how you feel. Do you really feel the world would be better without you in it? Because i can almost guarantee that isn’t the case. Don’t give up because you feel you can’t stand the pain anymore…keep fighting because even though 5 years later you are flunking, maybe 10 years later there will be something going right. Take a break from school and collect yourself and when you are ready, go back part time and work part time, just find your own pace and find a way to live.