it hurts. I am 35 years old and have been dealing with this crap for 30 years. I have one person in this world that I can call a friend…but he doesn’t understand.
2 ex wives and I am doing an outstanding job of destroying a third. I can’t work because of my mental issues. I don’t speak to my family in an attempt to remove the pain they inflict on my life…that didn’t work as planned.
Everything I do fails miserably…everyone that gets close to me ends up despising me and eventually leaves.
I manage to occasionally convince myself things are good and I can be happy…but then life decides I have had enough and the pain and hurt and fear come back stronger.
10 years of medications and therapy and nothing ever changes. The only thing real is the pain and even that isn’t enough anymore.
what is the point? why bother? more pain, fear and sadness is all that awaits……
1 comment
Same here Matt, just two years difference and not yet a third spouse. This line of yours:
“Everything I do fails miserably…everyone that gets close to me ends up despising me and eventually leaves”. It’s also the most painful reality of my life.