When I was younger I thought that one day prince charming would sweep my off my feet, and when I got older my parents would give me away to the man I loved with smiles on their faces. But I know now that my prince charming is death, and when my parents give me away to the thing I so longingly call upon their smiles will turn to tears, and they will fade into the sea of blackness behind them.
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Do not kill yourself to spite your parents. You must be young.
In order to find a relationship you have to be a part of something. Get a job talk to men.