Who the hell am I? Hm..

I’m an intelligent ape living on a strange mote of dust floating around within an arm of the milky way galaxy. My genetic makeup has grown out of countless generations of intelligent apes who have adapted and strove to adapt to their environments. Recently in the history of this odd ball of water and dirt, the intelligent apes have created hugely concentrated dwelling spaces and packed lots and lots of themselves together within particular geographic areas they call, “cities.”

So we all fight for dominance in close quarters, removed from our natural habitats, and vie for the attention of prospective mates or life partners. Everything is a competition now. It was the same, to a far lesser extent, before the advent of cities.

Well, goddamn.

What if I don’t particularly give a flying fuck about any of it?

I must be a very peculiar intelligent ape.

But knowing what I do, I also realize I’m projecting here. I do care about it. I’m using denial as a method to negate the things within me that I find terrible, painful, or unbearable, which only leads to further anxiety and a driving urge to leap off a tall building, or hurl myself into traffic.

How do you untangle a mess like this? Psychotherapy? Institutionalization? Please smack me in the face with a shovel.

Also, I really, really, really, really, really, really need a cigarette. Holy fuck, it’s incredible how badly I need a cigarette.

By the way, I’ve determined that I’m completely fucking insane. Pardon me if the above sounds totally schizophrenic.