I was suicidal when I was younger, about 4 years ago. I didnt have any permanent problems then. I grew up, and with age my suicidal thoughts went away. Id have a spell after something bad, or when I was really lonley, but they were rare and eventually none at all. I’m 23 now.
I’m facing life in prison for a crime I didn’t commit. All the research I’ve done shows that innocent or not, on trials like this people usually convict regardless, unless there is overwhelming evidence for the defence, and then its still iffy.
I don’t have any overwhelming evidence. Hell I dont have any evidence. in these types of cases there usually isnt any evidence if the person is innocent. Althought im innocent, everything that could have happened that night to make me look guilty happened. I mean unimaginable bad luck. But who the fuck is going to believe im litterally the unluckiest person on earth, even though that night it was true.
I’m fucked, im going to prison for a crime I didn’t commit for sure. I suppose a jury might believe me but its unlikely, all my friends (who all believe me because they know id never do something like that) joke around about how unbelievable my story sounds, but its no story, its the truth.
I’ve already paid for the best lawyer I can hire. (actually my parents begged for the money from a family friend and it took a long time for them to finally agree to help.) so theres no moving up on the lawyer, this is what I got, and I cant land a job with these charges after making local news.
Its so unfair, because, I think that If I did something….rash, people would just take it as admission of guilt. If I dont do anything no jurry is going to believe my story, If I go to prison with charges like this, ill be tortured daily.
It just sucks because when the supposed victim is claiming you did it on the stand, and their making it up for a retarded reason (I believe to avoid embarressment and getting in trouble with their folks) and their younger than you and of the female gender, who is going to believe the guy?
Theres more to the case of course, but i cant discuss that online.
Im going back to jail with a higher bond in a few days, its just how the process works till trial, and ill never be able to afford to pay it. so ill rot there till trial. My whole life is ruined permanently.
Theres no itll get better. Either the justice system will prevail, or ill go to prison until im an old man. Life isn’t fair. Im one of the nicest mother fuckers out there and always do my best to help out anyone in need and this crazy accusation happens to me? If I believed in god Id swear he hates me or is pulling a Job.
3 comments
I understand why you think others have no reason to be hopeless, but, sadly, people have many different reasons to want to end their lives… I believe that ending your life (Doing something….rash as you put it) wouldn’t help your case in this country living in fear of their own neighbors… No, the justice system isn’t perfect, but what is? I wish you the best, as if you’re innocent then you shouldn’t be committed, and I hope you don’t go to jail for something you didn’t do and that they find the person who committed the crime.. Sorry I’m no help here…^-^’
Hello Blackgrieving,
Words seem pointless….there is nothing to say to make it all better. I totally got the Job reference…and you may have a point. I remember feeling like that myself once…long story. Stay strong. The future is not set in stone.
Unfortunately this is not a game of one upmanship…otherwise you would definitely win at the moment. But please…I know you’re scared and angry and confused amongst other things…but don’t negate others pain. Their pain is very real too. They say God doesn’t give us more than we can handle…but it sure seems like it sometimes. But persevere…what choice has life given you eh? But it could all turn around in a moment. In the meantime…try to see if there is perhaps some warped sorta lesson in this atrocity. How can you come out of this a better person?
Praying for you
Amakua
I’m sorry to hear you’re in such a bad position, but depression and suicide isn’t a pissing competition. I find it just slightly offensive that you feel you have a more valid reason to feel like ending it all than some other folks.
Individuals each have their own tolerance levels. Some are lower than others. There are people out there in very similar circumstances to yourself that haven’t even given suicide a second thought. I understand you must be feeling really sick with worry right now, not to mention angry and bitter at your circumstances … but if you want to lash out at someone, don’t lash out at others that are in a similar headspace.
All I can suggest is to do whatever your lawyer says, and project yourself with class and dignity when you have your day in court.
I sincerely hope that you get a fair and just outcome.