I have no problem helping my friends with their problems, listening to them, being their support system.. but it seems like no one ever tries to help me, listen to me or is my support system. (again i am talking about friends who i am with in person on a daily basis not my SP friends) I am not trying to be needy or anything. But sometimes yes i do need help or someone to listen to me.. but i get tired of listening and helping, if i never get anything in response.
I feel completly shit on and tossed aside.. like my issues means nothing.. that you dont even notice or care. Im not saying thats the case, or trying to make anyone feel bad. But i can never say anything because then people go and make it all about themselves.. My friends will say how sorry they are for leaving me, ignoring me, or whatever.. and then they will dwell in their own self pity that they are such a bad friend.. and its back to the same cycle.. its all about them..
Im not saying i want things to be all about me, but i would like someone to care, to listen, to make things about me every now and then…
I wish i could just say that i am going to ignore you, until you pay attention to me… but i just cant do that…I feel like im being selfish that i want things to be about me more…?
4 comments
there is a function that many of our interpersonal relationships are founded on known as ‘costs/benefits’. it surmises that people we relate to outside of immediate family are determined on the basis of weighing the potential output we must give in a relationship vs how much input we receive from that person and/or group. when the balance is off and what we put into it is far more than what we get out of it, we begin to detest and resent that relationship.
the underlying issue though is still that as a whole, we only wish to engage in relationships in which we benefit in some way or another. it’s not a selfish way of thinking at all. in fact, it’s deeply rooted in the way were are socialized.
personally though, it is my belief that balance among all things is ideal… but very very difficult to realize.
Just start talking about your issues. Be persistent. Instead of offering consolation or advice at the end of their stories, relate (even loosely) the last thing you were discussing to something you’re struggling with. It’s such a human desire that no one will hold you at fault.
And if all else fails you always have us, your internet friends.
gotta love my internet friends <3 lol. thanks guys
Abselom,
Abselom,
sorry but normal people and I use that word loosely, want friends that are maintain free and only want you to be there for them, isn’t that nice! So…………………… you got us because we are like and love you!
NOBODY DOES IT BETTER…………… NOBODY DOES IT QUITE THE WAY WE DO………..