I feel so empty. I have a good life, I have a girlfriend and a loving mother. I figure I’m smart enough and I have a plan for the future.  I’ve a job I enjoy and I’ve a good time at school, but I still feels so empty.  I miss my dad.  I just feel so empty. My gal is depressed because of her life and I don’t blame her. She has had such a hard life that it makes me cry when I think about it. She and I have been going out a year and I have just recently become insanely depressed because my father has decided to move to Nevada (I am in Cali with no way to get to there). She feels like it is her fault I am depressed when in reality I’m pretty confident I would have done the dark deed months ago if it weren’t for her. She decided the best way to fix this all is to hide her real feelings from me.  I don’t want her to but I cant explain why. I am confident that it will only make it worse but I cant convey that to her because I have no real reason. I like who I am as a person but I feel so damned empty. Gah I just don’t know.
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I can only imagine how hard things must be for you at the moment. I can understand your frustration at feeling empty despite ticking all of the boxes in this thing called life. I’m sure your girlfriend would understand if you told her the real reason your depressed, maybe even relieved its not because of her. I’m sorry you feel so desperate right now but I’d like to think that there’s hope for all of us to get through these darkest of days x
If the glass is empty, you need to add something in it to fill it.
Add something to your life. It sounds corny, but you must realize that you can’t go on like this. Do things you like. If you like nothing, go outside every day and just walk around for an hour or two just listening to music. Don’t think, just do. Thinking too much, numbs the brain.
I am pretty sure I told her already is the thing. I have told her probably fifty times that it inst her fault and she gets mad at me whenever I bring up my dad. He did some pretty horrible stuff to my mother and grandparents right as we were first going out and she has grown up in a home with no love or forgiveness so she doesn’t understand how i can forgive him. I don’t know. Writing it out it all seems pretty silly
@sinine The thing is that the way I used to cope and handle everything isn’t something I can get at anymore. I used to play computer games to get rid of the feelings or to cover it up or whatever it was but now I don’t have a Computer. I imagine that it will get better soon enough and that I am just being abit silly in all this but without the computer it feels like I lost my link to my dad and to my friends that used to be online and it hurts
‘Thinking too much, numbs the brain.’
That’s what happened to me. Now it won’t work anymore.
CondensedFlesh, you can’t discard both, because that’s impossible. Try thinking; think your problems through and see logical solutions. Or just think about stuff in general.
Or try not thinking; go to a park and play on a swing. Don’t think about anything.
There sadly is no middle ground.
It’s a shame your girlfriend has it so tough she doesn’t understand forgiveness. That must be as hard for you as it is for her. If she doesn’t accept your dad situation I find it hard to think of what to say in response as I understand her finding forgiveness hard. Sorry not more helpful, getting tired. Continue to stay with us and we will help in anyway we can x
A computer doesn’t help. It doesn’t really help you cope, believe me. Electronics don’t help. You need to find something else to do. Sorry, but it’s true.
Also, sorry for the long wait, didn’t see your reply.