I’m surrounded by people, yet I feel so alone. It’s like i’m screaming, but no one knows. I’ve tried to ignore the fact that no one cares, but sometimes I just wish I had someone who did. Everyone looks down at me, I mean I understand why. I’m no good. No one wants me here, so why is it such a bad thing for me to want to just end it. It’s not selfish, there’s no one it’ll hurt. No one will notice.. I need to help myself. I’ve been feeling really horrible lately and I think it’s due to my stress. I’ve tried talking to people but they all think i’m doing it for attention I mean that’s all teenagers do.. look for attention. I have cuts everywhere I don’t know how much longer I can take. I’m trying to stop myself from having bad thoughts, I really am. But it’s not as easy as it seems. I really don’t what else to do. I’m scared that my next attempt won’t fail. But why should I be scared… I want it to end. I think? I don’t know i’m confused, I want to believe that there’s something better waiting for me.
As Thomas Paine says “The greater the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.”
1 comment
I love your quote. “These are the times that try men’s souls,” he also said. How apropriate, huh? As Scar once posted, suicidal people tend to be ambivalent, fluctuating between wanting to die and wanting to live. Fear isn’t always rational. If you want to do well on a test or at a game or ask somebody out, you’re scared anyway right? Not that I’m advocating you should kill yourself, because sometimes preventative fear is a good thing. People like to tell me that they can’t read my mind, so no matter how obvious I think my depression is, no one says a word about it. maybe it’s not that the people around you don’t care, but they’re oblivious to your pain.