This probably won’t make much sense, I’m sorry for that.
I’ve read the posts on this site for a while now and for some reason, i thought my story was in order. Maybe it’ll help someone not make the same mistakes i did, not have to go down the same route.
Im not here to write a story for attention or anything of the sort. i don’t know i just felt like i needed to explain.
For a while now the only thought on my mind has been suicide and I just can’t take it anymore. So i guess this is goodbye.
It all started when i relaised i have nothing left, my parents walked out on me from a young age so i’ve never really had anyone to look up too, too turn t when things went wrong. I have no job, no friends and no longer a girlfriend. Â The worst of all no self confidence.
I guess after years if being told I don’t deserve anything in life, that i’m not good enough, Â even when I give something everything i have it’s still shit and generally every insult under the sun. It gets to you, You know? and well, I just can’t do this any longer. I tried my best, that’s all anyone can do.
Before I go, I’d like to say this – Make sure you find time for your friends, family, who ever it might be. Don’t let them fade away aha and if you are thinking about suicide, please give it everything you have not too, for me.
That random 17 year old guy on the internet.
Peace. x
6 comments
Hmm, sounds like you are having a rough night, you say you lost your parents, were you adopted? If you don’t mind me asking, what it your suicide plan?
PS, I am here if you want to chat about random, stupid life shit. Also try a hotline, just having a person to vent helps. But! USE A PRE PAID PHONE, OR IF IT IS CONTRACTED DO NOT STAY WHERE THE BILLING ADDRESS IS SIT IN A CAR, COFFEE HOUSE, SOMEWHERE SAFE AND QUIET. Unless you want a nice retreat to the hospital that is. They will track your #
Yout feel pretty badly to have put your feelings out there. Good!
Do not apologize for feeling like you make no sense. You are in pain. It is okay to feel like scrambled eggs – but you are making more sense than you know.
So what if you DID need attention? People NEED one another. I don’t give a crap who they are. Wanting attention is the same as connecting with others. It is okay to have expectations and feel let down when people over step their boundaries and abandon or hurt you. That is actually NORMAL.
What is NOT normal is how you seem to have been treated. As though grieving, wanting to talk or be cared about in a palpable way is negative (ATTENTION SEEKING is not BAD!).
When a baby cries, we are supposed to comfort them. When someone is happy, we rejoice with them. When someone says YOU HURT ME – we should actively LISTEN and partake in a health two way communication to resolve things.
Someone short changed your experience along the way. It is FINE for you to speak up. We do hear you. We care. it seems a lil strange coming from an old fart lady you never met. You can be sure I mean it though. I think about how alone you must feel right now. It can be suffocating for sure. There is no greater sadness than to think of a young person like you, feeling so alone and terrible. People DO want to hear from you. I do. I care.
Keep talking – do not hang up. Just keep going. I am asking you for the same favor you are asking others. Don’t give up. Please.
PS I meant GOOD as in it takes courage to post what you have. Not GOOD that you feel like crap. Sorry!
Hope you are doing okay… sending you good karma tonight
Please don’t do it….Jesus loves you and he will never leave you nor for sake you…