I was wondering if this happened to anyone else.
Recently i met someone that i knew had mental issues, as a cutter myself i often look for scars on others, i don’t know why, but i like to look.
After not being able to find an scars on him, I found myself feeling somewhat jealous of others with bigger scars that are more noticeable, i felt somewhat disappointed in myself that i didn’t have bigger and better scars to ‘show off’ i guess.
Just for the record, i am not ashamed of my scars/cuts etc, i would gladly show them off as i find them to be the most beautiful thing about myself.
So i was wondering if anyone else looked for scars on random people, and if you do, do you compare them with your own?
3 comments
Sometimes people have bigger and better scars that people cannot see. I dont compare but I know people that do. The fact is were all broken in one way or another. Some of us have scars on the outside, some on the inside and in my care, my internal scars are much deeper than my external ones. My internal scars are festering and raw.
i actually do the same exact thing. i look for scars on everyone and if theirs are bigger or better than mine i feel useless and i get mad at myself, i don’t know why, but i get…jealous of them. i wish i could make mine worse. i don’t know, i do it too though.
@sadnesscausedsuicidalthoughts: thank you so much for letting me know that, it made me feel so stupid to think these things, so petty to consider myself jealous. So i am glad others feel the same.
@ MusicMatters: I agree, internal scars are often worse, i guess it’s more of a visual thing for me though. Because those with depression or with internal scars that are deep and raw, those people can often hide their depression, hide their suffering. And although i can sometimes pick up on this fake happiness, if someone wants to hide their feelings their is no way i can confirm their sadness, so scars are easier to compare i guess.