Lemon Tart *2

Hi,

I’ve read through a lot of the articles on here and  if anything it’s been reassuring to know I’m not alone in the way that I feel. I don’t want to live anymore. I’m 25 and used to be on chatrooms when I was a teenager. I was one of the people you’d get consoling someone who had been contemplating suicide. I always believed that life would always get better and there would always be people to turn to. In fact, as well as getting better, life could also get worse, which is the side of the knife I find myself on now. I have a girlfriend who I’ve tried to and can’t talk to about it. She knows I’m unhappy but not to what extent. I can’t talk to my family about it whatsoever. I just want them to know that it’s not their fault, it’s mine. I know I’m blessed with people that care for me and understand I’m being selfish but I’m hurting and it’s too much to bear. I’ve got enough money left to travel to the States or pretty much anywhere in Europe as don’t want to burden or hurt the people who love me with a body. In the short time I’ve lived, I’ve learnt that I can’t seem to change much. I used to believe you could do anything if you tried hard enough and maybe that’s true, but for me, the pain of failure hurts too much and I can’t take any more. This is less of a cry for help and more something which I believe I should leave behind.