lost

Hi!my name is Sue..Im 25 y/o and a single mum. Im from the philippines and im currently live in Uk and my 4 y/o daughter is in the philippines with my mum.i work really hard just to support my self and my family. I do night shifts at work and work for 3 nights in a week and I do part time jobs on my days off from my fulltime job.I have mo luck with my work,family and love life.My boss is taking the piss.She is not paying me enough money. I keep having arguments with aunt regarding the room that im renting.My bf is getting depressed because of his financial status and work related issues..My life now is shit!I work fu***** hard ,all i want on my days off is to relax and enjoy my time with my bf.BUt everytime i come to see him he’s always angry and upset about something.I want to help him but i dont know how.I wanna be with him.I love him so much.I wanna cheer him up when he’s upset but its hard to deal with him as he gets really agitated and starts swearing.Im honestly scared that one day he might lose control and hurt me.I dont know how he feels about me.He says he loves me and i know its true,but i dont know how much.I know he hasnt really accepted the fact that i have a kid.I know he’s still looking for someone else..someone who’s single and no baggage.I saw his search history on his laptop and he’s visiting asian dating websites.I know if he meets another asian girl who’s single and no baggage he’s go for her.My life evolves around him and just work atm.If I lose him again Id go crazy.I know he’s not gonna stick with me.I just fucking need to accept that.And honestly I think I really need to move on .My mum said im still young, all my friends and even my boss keep saying that i should find someone else.BUt I fucking love my bf.I just dont know how to deal with his depression and the fact that he’s still looking for someone else. Im tired of getting hurt and tired of people taking the piss. I have no luck in life.Sometimes I just wanna run away and disappear from the rest of the world.I just want  peace of mind. There are a lot of things in my mind. It make s me go crazy.Its upsetting me.Driving me mad. Sometimes I just wanna end my life to end my sufferrings. BUt that would be really unfair to my daughter.I dont know what to do anymore.I desperately need help.immmmmm ssssssoooooooooo sssssaaaaaaaaaaddddddddd and llllllooooooosssssttttt!!!!I fucking hate my life!!!!