Where to begin. I was doing great. After I had been doing really terrible. I was suicidal, and almost killed myself. But i asked for help, got on meds, got into therapy, and finally got my life turned around. Or so I thought. I transferred schools, because I could not stay at my old school. I wanted to continue playing my sport, because that’s one of the few things that makes me really happy. At least it used to. And my coach had betrayed me, and would never trust me again. I needed to move on. I wanted to be able to figure myself out, minus the depression. I found a new school, new people, but also the same old me. I have been here for 4 months now,and I seem to be falling back. I seemed to have figured myself out, and I figured out that I don’t know how to live without being depressed. I’ve been this way for so long, that i don’t know how to start over. My identity is linked to my depression. Which makes me want to end everything all the more.
At least I had friends there. I still do. The people who helped me stay alive are all there, and I chose to move here. What was I thinking? Â Here I feel completely alone, because now, I feel like I can’t trust anyone. No one here knows what happened to me. No one knows who I really am. And I can’t trust them. Taking that chance risks ruining everything, again. So here I am. Tired, lonely and stuck…
1 comment
It must be hard to feel all of that and not know what to do. Like you’re trapped. I’ve felt that way before too. So lonely, but afraid to let anyone in. Don’t feel like you’re alone, you aren’t