This may get deleted as this may be considered “hateful” in some peoples eyes, but maybe this post can at least be seen by some of you guys, and reach out to you. Â This website does not help you in any way.
But you see, I am upset. A very close friend of mine passed away a few weeks ago, and he was subscribed to this website. This website may have been created for people dealing with depression as some type of support group, but from what I’ve read this is just a bunch of people saying how they hate their lives or talking about how they all way to kill themselves. Depression, just like many other mental illnesses, is in fact contagious. All of you feed off of each others’ depression, creating it more and more unbearable for you to handle everyday problems. You read other peoples’ feelings on life and start to feel like life is nothing but darkness, which isn’t true at all. But now, so many people are feeling darkness all over the world, literally, because my friend passed away. He felt like he had done so much wrong in life that he couldn’t forgive himself, and he’s not here any longer. He felt like he had no friends, and was alone, but at his funeral there were so many people there crying, just like I am right now. People in multiple states held memorials for him, and are raising money for his family in so many creative ways. If only he saw how much people loved him, maybe he’d still be here for Christmas. The people on this website are either looking for attention, or are in a similar situation as my friend. Either way, you shouldn’t be on this website. This website is very triggering, and can cause so many upsetting thoughts for some one recovering from depression, that they shouldn’t be on here because Lord what they will do. Some people may not see this as triggering, but for some one else it can. Even I can say that as a recovered anorexic, that the strangest things can push you over the edge, and I can see how this website can do that. Now, I’m not saying that this site is the cause but I’m sure as hell not saying that this website helped any.
I would also like to point out to all vegans enlisted on this website for reading this, if you have read ANY article where it states that the only way to be truly vegan is to kill yourself, that is the largest piece of bullshit I have ever heard. Think about it, if that’s the case, either the people that have written that are not vegan so they do not see your views the way you do, or if they are vegan, did they commit suicide? If so, how did they write the article saying that you have to, or are you 100% sure they ended up going through with it?
Please, if you are some one that is thinking about doing this, it’s not the answer. Suicide does not only effect you, it effects everyone that has ever met you, and it’s not fun. I’m never going to see that one-of-a-kind condescending yet loving face again. You are all one of a kind, and believe it or not, people do love you out there. My friend thought he had no one, but if you could see how much people have done in response to this, it would blow you away.
I love you dear friend, everyone is hurting, but I guess I now have to respect what you wanted. You were never the type to back down from what your mind was set on. I just wish your mind wasn’t set on this.
13 comments
This website helps alot of people, so dont say we dont need to be here, youre the one who doesnt need to be here.
actually im sorry, im really upset right now and i shouldnt have said that. But i honestly believe that this website is a good place. I know it helps me to know im not the only one who feels the way i do.
I understand that it’s a good thing to know that you’re not crazy. Trust me, I’ve been there. Maybe for some, this could be a good thing, but for others, depression is VERY contagious and I feel like my friend just couldn’t see the light anymore because everything he could see was swamped by darkness. If you can’t see that there is a light end of the tunnel, then that tunnel gets scary. I just wish that this website could have a couple more hopeful posts in here because like I said, so many of these posts are very triggering.
I understand what you’re saying, Tickedoff, and your thoughts have some validity. I met someone on here myself, and after deciding to be suicide partners and discussing it practically for about a month, she recently killed herself. I observed her rapid decline after meeting me, but in the end the choice was hers to make. I offered her both help and a partnership; she was free to choose either. I had the resources to get her some of the best doctors in the world, but I was also willing to die with her.
Her dying before me was certainly not what we discussed, but ultimately I’m glad she’s at peace now. She suffered immensely and it wasn’t my right to try and stop her. We all have to live our own lives; we can’t pretend suicide is somehow right for us while being wrong for someone else. No one has the right to force someone else to suffer, even if an answer might exist for them. Suicide is a deeply personal choice, and it HAS to be made by the individual.
I hear your words and I sympathize with your loss. Death effects everyone around us because no one lives in a vacuum. While some people may end up dead because of those they meet here, others receive great encouragement. There is no right or wrong answer in regards to this site because everyone is different. This site is a gray area with both the potential to save and destroy. Very few things in this world are black and white, but I understand that your rant is done out of pain. I’m sorry for your loss, and I hope healing arrives sooner rather than later.
I think it may be a double edged sword…good for some, not for others
Suicide is, ultimately, an autonomous act. I also believe it is rational.
I feel this website is helpful. It helps people who think they are alone. What I feel? When I get depressed, I come on this website. I read other people’s sorrows and somehow then feel grateful because I am not alone in a way, that there are people out there struggling too; I feel I have a family and we are all surviving in a way, commenting, supporting each other. This is a place where you rant, where you spill your dreads and others will listen and comment. Plus it’s free.
I see what you mean about knowing that others are going through the same thing as you and that you are not alone. But what I also see the lack of positivity. When some one says something bad happened, some one comments saying that life sucks. I feel that that isn’t supporting in a positive way. I can see where it helps you knowing that you are not alone, but I don’t see how this website helps you recover in any way. Sure you know that you aren’t alone, that’s nice, but all you have now is others that are grieving together with no one to help them get back up again.
There are also people that I see posting that suicide is the way to go, that it is rational. I find that very incorrect. Many people say that suicide is performed by a coward, I don’t believe that either. I think it takes some one very strong willed to do it. But that doesn’t mean that you should do it to make a point. I think that this website, as an online support group, should be improved by a positive outlook on things, with positive comments. Instead of saying “kill yourself, you’ll feel feel better then” how about you guys try to help lift each other from depression. Sure, you can rant, but at least try to help make each other happier. Maybe you’ll feel better about yourself that you made some one else happier, and maybe you even saved a life.
And now I sound like a hippie, but I think positivity really does help others, and can become a great preventative measure. :]
For what it’s worth, I have used this site as inspiration. I come on here when I’m really feeling down and I have never had someone comment telling me to actually go through with it. All of the posts have been uplifting and supportive and like many said above me, it is like a small family where we help each other out and show one another their not alone.. With that being said I am so sorry for your loss.. we can’t control what some people comment on here and there are always going to be those terrible people who feed off misery and egg someone else on.. Personally though this site has helped me immensely.
a couple things. 1. mental illness is not contagious. 2. if you haven’t noticed, every time some posts about suicide there is someone who offers to talk and/or pleas with them not to. 3. some of us, like me, aren’t allowed to talk about these things in their daily life and it’s therapeutic to be able to talk here. 4. as far as triggers go, I can see how this would be triggering. however, someone has to seek this site out. triggers are a part of functional life. Foremost, though, I am sorry for your loss. It pains me (and I can assure you the rest of us too) that someone on here, someone we may have interacted with only once or even never is gone now. I promise you that we’re all compassionate people and sorry for this loss.
Whenever i have secretly attempted suicide i have felt incredibly lonely as everyone thinks i’m fine, just aloof. I don’t need attention, but i would like to tell everyone around me, my friends, co-workers and fam. that i am going to end my life just to blunt the upset and shock this might cause. I just want them to be absolutely prepared in case it affects them.
Everyday life is ‘smile, carry on and be positive’. It drains me not to connect with others in any real and meaningful way, everything seems formulated and preset (being under the rubric ‘happy and precious’). This is really really lonely for me, pretending to be normal but going to a place (or space) vacant and quiet to plan suicide.
Commenting on this site helps to express my pain. There’re lots people who seem to touch on how i feel. The comments above are everything i would have said. Very few people in my life share how i see things or they inhibit these feelings; however, this site shows me i’m not alone just reiterating ‘leiferikson’ really, again this strengthens my point that people here say whats on my mind.
And usually i can’t stand talks about anything positive and i’m surprised that i do agree with you. I am sorry you lost a friend.
Thankyou for reaching out ‘tickedoff’.
I agree with leiferikson. Wish to add a couple more points.
5. This site is never meant for treating depression. It is for merely for sharing suicide stories. Says so at the top of the page.
6. Um, I don’t think I ever found a comment of a user saying “kill yourself, you’ll feel better then” …?
Ticked Off,
I am a survivor. When I was set to make another attempt last year…I ended up here instead. I was one of the lucky ones…I got what I came for. But we don’t all come here for the same thing…unfortunately. I agree for the most part with the above comments…but that is only one side of the story. Some people here are not compassionate….and I have seen people being told to kill themselves. I’ve seen some real crazy shit on here over the last year…and some of it I caused. I am only human after all…and when I am hurting…I’m not always “nice”…so I try to understand that those on this site are hurting too…but it’s not easy sometimes. And then of course you have the folks that prey on the weak and needy…and what a better place to troll for the next victim eh? We try to protect the young ones…but we are only words on a screen after all.
I can’t speak about your friend specifically…but are you trying to imply that someone here encouraged him? Do you know your friend’s screen name? Also…we are only part of the story here…most serious convos take place in other modalities such as email and skype. So because I don’t know who your friend was I can’t really say much…except I hope that he is at Peace now. He is being cared for regardless…he was obviously a wounded soul. 🙁
And the sad sad truth…most positive posts and comments are ignored or hated on…and yet we still continue…somehow. Trust me…you have been very kind to us. I am also very sorry for your pain…I know what it is to lose someone to suicide…and to wonder if there was perhaps something you could have done. There was not…trust me. When we get so far down that it seems like nothing else makes sense…we are not really listening or wanting help. And yet we continue to try to reach these souls.
In the end…atleast we are trying to do something positive…but a suicide site…not a very positive place most times. The only reason I keep trying? To reach one…just one…that is all I can hope for…just sorry it wasn’t your friend…truly.
I wish you Peace
Amakua