We were engaged for 4 years, together for 6 years, have a 4 year old child together. I suffer from depression, anxiety, and panic attacks, this has been going on for about 4 years now. Starting new medications, ending them, then starting others… Ive been pretty good lately, but all of a sudden he becomes unhappy.. Yes i get all of the pain he went through pushing me to get well and happy, but i spoke about it. Within the past 2 weeks, we’ve had a break, pity sex, and he broke up with me today. I feel like I’ve been backstabbed. Like my best friend just ripped my heart out when he wanted a break, and when he broke up with me officially, it felt like he stepped on my heart and broke it into a million pieces… Am i wrong to feel betrayed? He wont even look at me, even though he is the one who left me and touched others.. After all of this i still feel like i need him. I want him.i miss him. He was my everything and still is. He is all i think about and all i care about, except for our daughter. So any suggestions on how to handle this? What i can do to better the situation? Im not ready to give up. I want to fight for him. he ended it because he was unhappy. He never said anything to me about this. I never knew he wasnt happy. If i knew, i couldve changed and am still willing to change. I am not doing this just for my own well being. We have been together for 6 years…. I want this to work because we have gone through so much **** together and he is just throwing all the memories away like he does not care When he broke up with me, he showed absolutely NO emotion. No tears, no im sorry, no compromising, no nothing…. And i feel like he isnt over us and i should keep fighting. I know he will b with other girls. I am fine being miserable until he is ready for me again. Does this make me soft? Helpless? Hopeless?
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Oh! That’s sad. What a heartless one he seems to be. Just throwing things away? If you’ve been together for six years, he should know the effort you’ve put into the relationship. Maybe you should say something to him like he needs to put some effort into this as well, instead of putting it all onto you like that?
I have said that to him but he just says I don’t want to try, since our break I do not think about you, and that he does not miss me…
It will hurt for a while. A long while. From what I’m reading, I would leave it alone. I would try to be the best parent I could be for my child and try to get my symptoms under control. You will only hurt yourself more if you chase love. In my experience, it’s not worth it.
With all the pain you deal with already, why add more? Relationships are supposed to add good even if they can be challenging at times. This doesn’t sound good to me.
i’m sorry you are hurting.
Thank you. I really wish I could leave it alone, but I do not want to. I honestly could noy see myself with anyone else.
I really do understand. Believe me. It takes standing outside of yourself and observing what’s going on to actually realize what needs to be done. It takes time and some honest introspection. In my experience, time has a way of clarifying things and bringing things to light.
Yes it will take time, but I am not sure if I have the time.. I’m just too broken
I know the feeling.
you will have the time because you have your child, you must go on for that only reason. and i understand you dont wana give up on him i didnt wana give up either ever. just keep hoping maybe things will become better between both of you in time. maybe he’ll realise he loves you still if you give him enough space for that and you can prove him differently the next time. im hoping it will all be ok again for you 🙂
I know that I dont want to leave my daughter. Chances are very slim on us getting back together. I guess he has planned this break up a long time ago…
oh im so sorry to know that, but really only you know the full story. sometimes i wish i had a child as it wouldnt make me feel as bad as i feel now. but other times nope, because i can put the plan to action.
well these are my beliefs you have the right to think differently, just as i see it is no one has made that child for you, you and him did it, so its yours. now you have full responsability for her, its not fair on your parents to take care of her for you and its not fair on her to have no mother as shes not a grown up yet. so id fight for her and make her the reason to live everyday…
Yeah, my daughter is the only reason I have been here for maybe the past few years. I am just at my breaking point, you know? I am just …. Tired..
i understand you im sorry to be so harsh, i hope you can keep on fighting for her. ill be around if you wish to talk 🙂
I feel sorry for you, not in a bad sooky way though. It’s just how I feel. I don’t understand relationship breakups from personal experience, but I know people who have done. In that sense I ca understand, and it’s hard. I must say though that because you have a child you should try to kejep going for her. I know we all need to look after ourselves and our own lives first, but somehow children are a bit of an exception. At least give yourself a chance for another few years, while your child grows up and then see what happens. Let’s hope life gets better for you by then. I understand there’s no guarantees, but at least give yourself a chance for a week, then a month, then a year. I’m not saying you’ll ever get over what happened, men can be pretty hurtful when they want to be.
All the best,
Michelle
Thank you. I know I need to stay strong for my daughter, but I have been struggling for so long and I think this whole situation has got me to my breaking point… My daughter has seen my ups and downs.. I just do not want her to hate me. Either way she will though. I mean, I’ve put her through some bad times with my crying and sobbing, but if I do do something stupid, she will grow up and hate me too. So i am just kind of lost..