Freak

Okay so last time I made a post was a couple of days before 7th grade and now I’ve been through half the year.

Also, Happy new year.

Anyway. <.> Um. So. Things haven’t been the best this past year.

For example, there’s this kid at my school, Andrew. He seems pretty cool and I wouldn’t mind being friends with him. (I don’t like him like that..) But my best friend told me he thinks I’m scary.. :c I asked her, “What’s so scary about me?” and she said “Well from a distance you kind of look really mean. And if I was some random kid and you were getting upset at your best friend, I’d be a bit intimidated too. Plus when someone is talking to you, you just have that look on your face like “I don’t care” and I know you don’t.”

Okay first,

how would you know if I didn’t care or not. :c I do care, I’m just afraid of what people think of me so I try to not talk to people. /)n(\

Yesterday in ELA, I started crying when my teacher called on me because I can’t talk in front of people.

(I did that in math too like 4 months ago.)

Second.

My best friend knows nothing about how I feel. If Im acting kind of down, she’ll ask “What’s wrong?” but it’s not like one thing happens and then I get a little upset about it, like other kids our age.

It’s everything.

Third.

Im telling my dad I cut, soon. I’d rather tell him then him find out. Knowing him he’s going to send me to inpatient…

Fourth,

Last month I  tried to attempt suicide again.

The pole wasn’t high enough but every day I wish I just could of have been shorter.

Fifth,

Over summer break I met this guy named Thomas, who is 4 years older than me, but over  a period of time, I guess we somehow ended up feeling them feels. But then he stopped talking to me. And I can’t get over him and I feel so lame because it’s my fault. Did I get to annoying? Did he think he was dumb because he liked someone so much younger? What did I do. :c

Sixth,

This could possibly be my last post so bye.