Im in the eigth grade, and already so many things have made me lose hope for my life. I dont want to be here. Nobody wants me to be here. My friends dont even like me. My parents hate me, im so depressed, ive started doing drugs and smoking pot, now they hate me. Even though they smoke pot too. They hate having to deal with me. I know it. They wish they had a normal daughter. One that doesnt ask to go get checked if she has depression. No kid of theirs should be on pills for depression. Even though they are on pills for depression. I have no future. My grades in school are terrible. I dont even care about them any more, i wont be here long enough for my grades to matter, or a job to matter. Why cant i be like the other kids and get good grades? Or be sporty and make my parents proud of me? Why cant i be good at anything? There is nothing special about me. nobody sees anything in me. It wouldnt matter if i killed myself, my mom might finally be able to move to california or chicago. Without a kid to drag. Im just holding them back. Im holding back everybody in my life.
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I feel the same way, it does matter. People DO care about you, they just don’t realise it until the last moment. I cut, and you do pot. They are no different, since smoking is a different form of self-harm. How can you know you want to die when you haven’t even lived yet? My grades are bad, Bs Cs Ds, and my parents have this “why can’t you just think like me?” attitude. I tried killing myself…twice. I can’t help but think if I made it this far, that I should at least TRY to get better. I figured out where I’m going wrong, I asked for help, and I’m getting better. and that’s coming from a 12 year old.
Drugs will make you feel worse. If you want to be sporty then spend some time learning about nutrition and fitness.
I really should go to bed when I say I am instead of lurking, but Maddy, I had to comment on this. The hardest part of adolescence is learning to stop caring so much about what your peers and your dysfunctional parents think of you.
Here’s the reality of your situation: your parents are hypocrites and not strong enough to get you the help you deserve. It is not your fault that you’re depressed, I’d say it’s not even your fault you got into drugs when all the adults in your life refuse to take care of you the way they should. Your situation is unfortunate, but it’s the terrible conditions around you that are largely at fault here. You’re supposed to be nurtured and guided as a child, but your parents are neglecting that duty.
Have you tried telling a teacher you really like that you’re depressed? Someone needs to wake your parents up to the fact that you need assistance. I’d say tell as many trusted adults as you can until someone steps in to help you. You’re not the one who messed up Maddy, if both of your parents suffer from depression, you likely have a genetic predisposition to it. You can get help and you don’t have to feel like a failure.
The only way you can make it through right now is to determine for yourself that you have worth. Maddy, I promise everyone has things they are talented at. I have them, you have, and everyone who visits this site has them. I know it’s very difficult to stand on your own two feet at 13, and you shouldn’t have to, but if the people around you refuse to help then you’re going to have to be strong for you.
I know in the back of your head you’d like to believe you’re good at some things. Here’s the truth: you are good at those things that you just thought of. When we get depressed we turn inwards and start downplaying all of our strengths, but you need to do the exact opposite of that. Please give yourself some credit for your good qualities, and try to hang in there. Be nice to yourself. Hug yourself. You have value and you deserve better than this.
You’re here in this world, Maddy, and you deserve a fair shot at life. You have just as much value as anyone else, and you can still make it. All you need to do is survive these really hard adolescent years, and you can get away from all the people who didn’t treat you like they should have.
Take care, Maddy.
It should also be noted, Maddy, that I started suffering from depression at age 7. I know what it’s like to go through my youth feeling left out, worthless, and sad all the time. It took me many many years to start recognizing my good qualities; my only hope for you is that you learn faster than I did.
Oh that’s bad. I have a mother who I don’t have nothing to do with anymore because she blames me for her alcohol problems and expects me to get halp when she doesn’t so I moved away and got over a couple of problems. The rest of them, my family is helping me get over. I feel bad for you look I could kill my mother and father for similar reasons. This is why there’s homicidal and suicidal people in this world… Because of dickheads who hurt us like this and then expect us to get someone else to reverse their fucking pain. No, they should get the help, and maybe we wouldn’t need so much help God they’re such mother-fuckers.