I am surrounded by millions, but yet I am all alone in this world. Nobody cares about me…or loves me…or gives a crap if I am here or not. Even my own family rejects me even though I have done nothing wrong. I try so desperately to fit in…to do what I think others will like and pay attention to. Yet they ignore me…they are too busy judging me to get to know me. I spend my weekends alone. I spend every waking second alone. It is not worth it to me. None of it. I will never be ok. My life is nothing. I will never make a difference. I will never have friends or a boyfriend. I will spend my life alone…whatever life I do have left. Why can’t they just accept me or at least be nice to me instead of mocking me behind my back. What is so wrong with me? What will it take? I want to die.
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You’re surrounded by millions, and yet you’re the only one that matters. Why do you care if others care for you, or love you, or give a crap if you’re here or not?
Things I am about to say, you will think your case is different and I won’t understand – BUL.LSH.IT.
Listen, I have Bipolar Disorder and every small thing could cause a long Depression episode, and during one of them I just want to commit suicide. For a long time I was wondering too, what can I do to fit in, why others keep judging me, why I’ll never be okay and what’s wrong with me. Now let me tell you something, some time ago I have finally realised that it’s not me who has to fit in, its people around me who have to do it.
People around me can judge me, and if they will, I’ll judge them even more.
It’s not me who has to be afraid, it’s others that have to be afraid of me.
I don’t have to be accepted by others, because I am me and I will never change myself for anyone else. There are good people out there who will respect me as I can respect others too.
Do you really have to change your personality to fit in? Are you kidding me, you are going to give your own self away for some as.sholes that probably have more issues themselfs than you? Life is the way you make it, and if you say it’s nothing, it will be.
Noone has to accept you, noone has to be nice to you. It’s a cruel world but if you want to survive, be an as.shole yourself. Sorry this is the truth, because you either swim or drown. Do you want to go under water and die? No! So get your sh.it together and start swimming because noone else is going to do it for you.
Things will happen and be prepared, but never let yourself down. Life is hard but if you stay positive, positive things will happen. Good luck, bro.
Well you got part of the puzzle of life figured out, yes there many idiots out there but they are not the one’s to concern yourself with.
In this world 95% of humans will only care what they can get from you or use you for.
This being said ask what are you wanting from them?
What is it that your giving to them?
If I you needed X to obtain Z why is Z the only way to fulfill your life and complete you as a person that matters in the world?
Would you believe me if I tell you most people never find total fulfillment and happiness?
You have got to understand you can never fill a cup with the bottom missing and nobody can do that for you except you.
How? Do something with yourself, find your nitche in life by understand what you seek and why, fulfillment doesn’t come from sex, fame, money, drugs, or any material things in the world. (You know this already right?)
I found myself when I decided to to stop investing in bull and live life not for God or country or trying to get others to pat my head and get a doggy snack.
I decided to invest in myself, to become a better person who learns by reading, writing, exploring me.
I do good things in the world because I want to, not for approval or to go to heaven.
when I do something for others I expect nothing absolutely nothing for it, because that’s what most others will give in return.
This doesn’t make them bad it makes them human.
You put yourself above the common human and are better when you choose to do out of pure heart nothing more nothing less.
If you understand this it helps to understand the why’s when it comes to humans,
Humans are animals and as such are driven by animal drives what will make a difference in you is do two things, improve yourself thru not being a typically human study philosophy, find out about other cultures take what is good and use it to improve yourself, learn to greet others in their language this breaks the ice to ask them why is it that their culture does….?
And move away from the mass media, turn off the T.V. use the internet for study learn a skill (I enjoy making keychain braids)(see boondoggle).
Classical music soothes the mind.
Juice vegetables and drink, helps clear the mind.
Try learning about tea’s and enjoy the simple wonderful things in life.
Bye for now.
I understand what you are saying. I just don’t know if I can ever be content with lonliness. And I’ve been alone so long I don’t really see it changing. Maybe I’m wrong…I hope I am. Thanks for the advice!
That was extremely insightful. I will try my best to adopt that mindset although I’m not sure how successful I will be. But I guess everything takes work. Thanks for the advice!
Lonliness, yeah. I feel the pain. I feel like I am on the right path myself, like everything is going well, I do have the confidence about myself, but even now I feel like there is no girl that will ever like me. That there is no girl that will ever accept me the way I am. Is it scary? Yeah, a bit. You know how was my first time? With a hooker, and then another three times with a hooker too. This is my only problem, girlfriend wise I cannot see myself with one, and feel totally worthless in that case, but nothing else will put me down.