It’s just too much

It’s a new year but I can tell its not going to be any better. It’s always been hard for me to fit in, it started on second grade. Stupid little girl made fun of me and did everything on her power to bring me down. Before the year was over I moved to another state but my self esteem was down enough to be made fun of constantly. It didnt help that my mom didnt make much money so i wore clothes from a thrift store.third grade new school new bullies ya I was really young but everyone hated me. By middle school we had to join another school with even more people to bring me down. I’m on seventh now at a new school and its worse than  ever. The town we live in has a high crime rate. So in result  incredibly misbehaved adolesents.

My first day I wore ms matched flip flops that matched my outfit. And do the taughting began. I was the girl that was to insane to match her shoes. I was the girl that didn’t have anything. And sudden I was the “poor” girl which I now wasn’t. I have about4 friends . Most of them being outcasts like me. Getting screamed at by the popular girls because we looked at them funny, because knew the answer to a question and got called on before they did. Childish things that they should have left in 1st grade. The worst part? The teachers don’t care! They see it happen and they ignore it or tell us to “be nice” like we are four!they don’t care about threats towards me no one cares.

A few weeks ago I stood up for a friend who was being made fun of for saying something rude about sandy hooks and soldiers die every day.  Ya it was insensitive but you don’t  have to call her out on her emo hair or her glasses or her sexuality.( she’s bi) and a few harsh words gave me a new panel if enemies. They made threats to me and called me ugly and words not worth repeating.

ive cut before. One for every person ever rude to me. To many to count now but do easy then. I have a knife in my hand. I need help