Pathetic

So after learning of a painless method that I find comforting I have decided to try it again and do it right.

Over three decades of being a pathetic excuse for a person ending it just makes better sense. No more disappointment, no more failure. Since confirming the choice to end it I am a bit calmer. I am scared of death but more scared of continued  pain.

I do realize the pain I will be causing for the few people I have around me but I didn’t make much impact in life so I don’t think I don’t think that will last long.

The only reason I haven’t just done it before now is my kids. They are young and this spare them the pain of continued custody battles and me disappointing them.

I don’t even know what else to say, just wanted to put this out there, maybe make some small impact before i go.

whatever.