Phoenix. He’s not here, But his story will be heard.

In an earlier post of mine, I mentioned my friend Phoenix. I said he has an extraordinary story to his life. Sadly, he isn’t here to share it. He told his story once, that was to me. Honestly, it sounded like a book. I remembered every detail, and thought there would be a sequel.

He’s not here, but his story stays with me. It needs to be heard, and it’s still going on today.

To start, Phoenix never really had a real family. When he was only 8 he felt suicidal. He felt he wasn’t needed. And his only release was art, and sadly, cutting. He was only 8. No 8 year old child should even know what cutting is. But I understand how he resorted to that.

His dad was never there, his mom scared him off.  How? His mom was a drug addict, anything she could get, she would take. She was arrested. She was off on bail. Why they gave her bail, I’ll never know. But he couldn’t take it. He left. the little 8 years old Phoenix ran away. Where he lived at the time, there wasn’t anyone who would take him in. There wasn’t anywhere to go. He never met anyone other than his mom in his family. He didn’t have any friends from school. His mother never even reported him missing. He just walked. He walked. He just left his ‘mother’. Around 2 hours of walking- he was 8 so it felt like 2 maybe it was less- he hears growling.

 

One major thing about Phoenix was that he got attacked by a dog when he was littler, so even the noise or presence of a dog scares him. Naturally he didn’t want to turn around and see how close it was. But he could hear it getting closer. He turned. The dog coward down. He walked away, the dog followed. He ended up keeping this dog. It followed him, this huge German Shepard dog followed the small 8 year old. He named this dog Tom.

 

Tom is the name he was told belonged to his father. He always believed his father would come back for him.

 

But Phoenix kept walking with this dog. He was saved though. While walking down a highway a car, a pretty big mini van actually, pulled next to him. Rolling down the window he see’s a middle aged woman and a 13 year old boy in the passenger seat.  Obviously, he’s never really been around people a lot so he didn’t know what to do.

The boy from the passenger gets out and kneels next the the little boy. And simply says “I’m Ryan.”

Phoenix didn’t know those two words would change his life. He just smiles and replies with his own name. The mother convinces Phoenix to come home with them and see if they could help. The dog comes with them.

In the end of this, it turned out his mom signed papers to dis-own Phoenix. Which made it possible for Ryan and his mother to adopt him, and the dog of course. He finally had a room, a home, a dog, a mother, and a brother. He still didn’t have a father.

His brother was pretty social with people and Phoenix got friends. But there was this one girl. Her name was Amanda. She lived states away, but Phoenix treated her like a princess. A good morning text, a good night text, painted her pictures, talked to her all the time. You could tell they were made for each other. But here he was in Michigan. Amanda lived in a whole different state. They didn’t stop them from a long distance relationship though. They talked all the time. He helped Amanda through her Suicidal times. And she helped him. They were like a natural, comfortable therapy for each other. His life almost revolved around her.

But the day Ryan found Phoenix, Ryan was on his way back from the hospital. He was undergoing Chemo-therapy for cancer. He was at stage 2. He told Phoenix. And he just couldn’t handle it. He broke, snapped even.

 

Phoenix took pills. I still, to this day, don’t know what pills they were. But he spent 2 months in the hospital. Half that in a coma.

 

During this time, Ryan and his mother got some pretty big news for Phoenix. The day he returned home they told him.

They found his Mother’s sister… She lived in Maryland. She was able to prove they were related and everything. They claimed she was a nice woman. But he would have to leave me and Ryan behind. At this point, me, Ryan, and Phoenix were almost in-seperable. We were always together.

But he wanted his real family. He wanted to be with his own blood.

We let him go. And I can not say how much i REGRET this. In fact, I feel his blood on my hands for this.

About a week after he moved I got a call. A blocked number. I picked up, thinking it was one of my friends prank calling. It ended up being Phoenix. I hadn’t heard from him in a week so I was naturally excited. I called Ryan over, But Phoenix yelled at me not to. Before Ryan could come I told him never mind.

I started listening to him, a bit more. He was crying. I could hear it in his voice. I simply asked him if he was crying and what happened.

I will never forget his next words. those three words. “She beat me.”

Naturally I told him I was calling the police and asked for his address. He refused any help. She threatened him.

Barely 2 months past. I had close to no contact with him after the last call. He was to scared to call anymore. But he called. He called once more. All he said was one sentence and hung up. No explanation. And you’re probably asking why I didn’t call back. He always blocked the number so I was unable to call. I never got his address. I never knew his Aunt’s name. I had no way of contact. But that last call. This one sentence. “I got lung cancer. I’m stage 3 and unable to go to Chemo, like Ryan.”

In between this call and the last, Ryan had passed away. Cancer took him. Cancer had no mercy to either of these young men. At this point Phoenix is almost 14, and he’s gone through all of this.

I cried. I told Ryan. He cried. I never found out how, but he had been talking to Amanda, his girlfriend through all of this. She knew before me. She told me everything’s that’s been happening to him lately.

I was sick. I couldn’t. She hearing what was happening, I threw up. I couldn’t imagine that happening to anyone. How he was still here, I’ll never understand. My problems were nothing compared to his.

He was in a wheelchair, his aunt pushed him down two flights of stairs breaking his left foot and almost completely shattering his right leg. His dog ‘ran’ away. Lies. Amanda told me how he would here the yelp of the dog, he could tell it was at the neighbors house. She sold the dog for money. Phoenix had been starved, neglected, beat, sick, locked away.

He would leave for school, avoid any contact, and go ‘home’.

Finally, what I wanted to hear more than anything. His aunt was moving to Michigan, not to far from where I live, and where Ryan used to live. I was going to see him. I was horrified to see him though. this was not Phoenix. This wasn’t the innocent boy who left me.

He looked to broken. He looked as if one touch would shatter him. He wouldn’t let any human with in 1 foot of him. he was scared of everything, every little noise. He was constantly checking his back. He was full of scars. He was too thin. He was too pale. He had no muscle. he could barely talk his through was always so dry.

 

But 2 weeks go by. I hadn’t heard from in a few days. I got the call I’d dreaded. They gave him a date. That’s what we called it. A date, was when someone’s cancer get’s so bad they can’t to anything about it, they give you a death date. He got his date. He never got to hug Amanda, and that’s all he asked for. He never got to have a normal life.

He snapped. He almost bled to death. I walked in on it. I got him to a hospital, obviously calling an ambulance.

He needed a new heart, no one we knew had the same blood type that would be willing to give him.

They finally found someone, willing to give his heart up, his perfectly good heart for this boy.

His dad.

 

His dad finally found him, he only got to see him on the brink of death. The son he never got to seem and he gave his heart for him.

 

Phoenix survived and I had to break the news to him. The look in his face, I couldn’t describe if my life depended on it. I didn’t know what to say, I’ve never experienced he had gone through.

 

After that he was different. He never wanted to be with people. Nothing changed at ‘home’ for him. His aunt didn’t change because they moved.

 

I never knew what to say, I couldn’t comfort him, I couldn’t hug him. But his date was coming soon.

Finally talking to him, I shared an idea. he agreed.

We applied him to the Make A Wish Foundation. They replied.

We were making his wish come true.

 

M.A.W.F sent him a plane ticket to where Amanda lived and two tickets/ VIP passes to their favorite band. He was going to meet her, and he was going to make her happy. That was his wish. He wanted to die with her happy, not him.

 

He just had to last 4 weeks.

But of course, he just couldn’t.

The week before, I went to help him pack. I knocked on the door to his Aunt’s house. I had never been here, but it looked normal. i would never guess what happened behind these walls.

Strangely no one answered. Not even Phoenix. I got chills. I couldn’t guess. I quietly walked in. The house was empty, now I haven’t seen/ talked to him in a day or two. I wanted to give him some space, we were together constantly.

I regret everything. Sending him with his aunt, walking in, going to the house. Everything.

I went to his room. The sight. That sight.

He was dead. In the middle of his floor.

Everything was clean around him.

But I knew what happened. He was killed. His Aunt killed him. And left.

 

To this day, I never saw or heard about his Aunt. She’s still out there. Living a life she doesn’t deserve.

I was left to tell Amanda. I was left with his body. I was left alone.

In his body’s hands? a note. plane ticket. A picture he painted of Amanda. VIP passes. Amanda’s address. A camera.

What was left in the house? Only his stuff.

 

I know it sounds weird, but I swore. I swore in his blood. I wasn’t going to let this go unheard of. I wasn’t going to forget about him.

 

Now, Today. My room is full of his stuff. I have his drawings on my wall. I have his art all over. I have all his memories. I have his favorite CD’s. His favorite books. His shirts.

But I know he’s in a better place. He’s with his dad and Ryan. He can’t be hurt anymore. Me and Amanda, we still talk. I’m video chatting her as I’m writing. We’re meeting up this summer. We’re seeing his favorite bands on tour.

I’m giving her what he was meant for her from Phoenix. But until then, I’m wearing the necklace he wanted for her. I’m giving her the note I found in his hand. I no longer have the tickets or passes, or those would be hers. I’m giving her the painting of her.

 

But it’s been almost two years. The house I found him in, hasn’t been bought nor sold. The room hasn’t been touched, the only change is I took all his stuff. I took his memories.

 

He’s not here. But His Story is.