So what?

6:40 AM, just finished my last cig to an awesome tune, Metric – Help I’m Alive (The Twelves Remix), so of course I got in the “life’s a bunch of crap” mood..

So what if I never woke up anymore? It’s not like world would have missed anything. I’m wasting myself, everyday, going deep into shit. It truly sucks to be 15 when you actually use your brain, when your hearth doesn’t just keep you alive but makes you feel. I’m different. I’ve been different since ever. What is wrong with people? What happened to love? Art, music, everything is getting more and more fucked up nowadays.

Usually I just go with the “don’t think” policy, because everytime I do I get one step closer to jumping from the window. So this trimester I fucked up 5 out of 12 subjects. I don’t feel like studying anymore, what will it be useful to? Maybe I’ll just join the military so my mother can be proud of me when I die.

There’s only one reason why I didn’t just go all screwed up with weed. This year I changed to a different school, and there’s a girl in my class who amazes me. She’s so.. innocent, so pure. Sometimes we look eachother in the eyes from the distance, and I just drown into her eyes like if she was staring into my soul. That’s pretty much the only time I feel something that reminds me that I’m alive. But now, with all the Christmas stuff I’ts been a while since I’ve last seen her.

So what? It’s not like she gives a fuck about me.

Where am I going?

What is all this for?

Guess I just had to write all this stuff somewhere, I don’t really think there’s really anyone else who thinks like me

7:00 AM