To Die or not to die

I’ve been living the life of a sheep for years, being pushed around and told what to do by people above me, following orders and doing the same thing day in day out. I’ve tried to make friends and I’ve tried to become a better person so people will like me, but none of that ever works.  It’s been 6 years since I first self harmed, and the rush I got from it was nice, it made me realise that we’re not made of glass, our bodies will repair. So I carried on, more and more, each time someone said something nasty or I was spoken down to, i’d cut to ease the pain. My mum noticed a cut one day and she went mental, shouting and screaming, demanding I see someone. She checked regularly for fresh cuts so I had to stop, but i’m at university now, and it’s starting again. But during the time I stopped, I became depressed, deeply.. And it hasn’t left me. Only an hour ago I became aware of the suicide of Amanda Todd, which brought me to tears and left me thinking. I’m unhappy with my life and I can’t see a way out; no friends, no money, no job, no future, no supportive family, and nobody who speaks to me like they care. I’m considering ending it, but I’m scared, naturally, so I write this in the hope there is help at the end of the tunnel and someone listens, instead of being a hopeless wanderer until the end.