I wake up in the morning, everyday at around 5:00. A glimmer of hope is buzzing in my eyes, hope for a better day, not only in school, but also with my parents. At 7:30 I enter the halls of doom. Now theres this thing, when a person is bullied they always remember it no matter how severe it was. I was always bullied psychologically and physically. Fat, Brown Indian and ugly were a few things I used to be called. Luckily for me, as I grew older it gradually reduced. But the funny thing is, it stuck in my head and no one seems to understand how I was affected. My parents always though I was to emotional and weak minded. Everyday when I come home, they doubt me. Doubt in whether or not I talked to a ‘boy’, if I spoke to my friend about random bullshit. I have no privacy. Never had and I think I just might never have. They check my Facebook messages and my phone messages, when I try to confront them, they tell me ‘I DONT CARE’. Filled with paranoia… if I might hook up with some random guys and do crap with them. I know this may sound petty, but I hate myself because I am not seen as a smart person according to my parents, to them I am a stupid moronic waste. I hate myself. I just want to give up, let go and die.
4 comments
Hi. I’m brown too, I know that brown parents can be hard on their kids, because they want their kids to get high marks and become a doctor etc. Don’t feel bad. It’s like that for all of us. My parents wanted me to become a doctor, but I became a teacher instead, and I’m happy with my decision. Talk to them and ask them for a little more freedom. 🙂
Hi,it truly nice to know that there are people out there who have gone through similar situations as I have… Talking to my parents never worked. Tried it once, they took away my freedom a little bit more. I feel suffocated in an area I am supposed to feel safe and warm. Being a teenager truly does suck…. :/
I am white but I was small for my age and raised in an unpopular religion. Two boys bullied me and called me terrible things for many years. I’m older now, but it’s like it was yesterday; my self-esteem was permanently affected. I will never be like other people. And I was never good enough for my mother either.
I truly beleive that you are better than good. The one thing I have learnt is to be tough. Pretend not to give a damn about what people say. But I know for sure that you and me both, feel it hard inside ourselves. It is painful, but I am hoping there will be a day, our lives get better and happier….