I cant anymore. I just want to be happy. I mean nothing. I’m worthless. I hate my self. Im so ugly and weird. How could anyone love me? Im not special. My body aches with sadness. I wanna die. Cutting myself feels so amazing. Im sad all the time. I cry myself to sleep. I have no one. I just wanna run in front of a car. I disappoint everyone I don’t keep promises. Can’t I start over? Can I be someone else. Im so lonely. I disappoint my parents my sisters my friends everyone. I can’t I can’t do it anymore. No one will ever understand my pain. I feel helpless. I try and make other people happy by doing things I don’t wanna do and that doesn’t please anyone either. Besides why would anyone want me, look at me. I look like a beast. My body is horrible. Everything about me is ugly. I just try and make people happy but I cant. My soul literally feels like its gonna fall out of my small disgusting ass. I”m tired. I”m tired of crying and feeling like fucking shit. I compare myself to everyone and everything. Why should I live, why should I be around, no one needs me. Who cares about me anymore? Everything I do is wrong. I”m always blamed. And its not even my fault. God I”m so tired i cant even see what I’m writing cause of the stupid tears falling down my boyish face. I’m so pathetic
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You’ve literally written out my entire life’s story. I know exactly how you feel (especially since I feel the same) but don’t think that you’re pathetic! I’m sure you’re a beautiful woman with an amazing personality, so don’t feel down. Then again I’m not one to talk because I’m 17 and never had a boyfriend before. Yeah sure I’m overweight and I have a giant nose, but I keep pushing myself forward in hopes of finding that one boy. Believe me, you will find someone someday for you 🙂 It may takes years, months, or even days! But if you’re unhappy with yourself right now, then all I can tell you is to change it. As for mistakes that make you regret life, well, we all go through it, but it’s learning from it and pushing on that makes you stronger! Please don’t do anything rash 🙁 I’m sure it’ll make a lot of people sad. And here’s some advice, before you try to change yourself, raise your confidence (self-esteem) because when you’re happy, everyone around you will be happy 🙂 Go out and buy a new outfit, I’m sure that’ll boost your confidence. And hey, there’s nothing wrong with dating sites 😉 But in all honestly, you’re not pathetic. I really do hope you feel better!