And then,you realise,you are all alone.Friends,family,people around you..No.Its all an illusion.I am alone.Alone here and alone in world.Alone in my heart and alone in my mind.Alone everywhere,all the time,for as long as i can remember.Alone with my family,alone with my friends,alone in room full of people.Alone when i wake up,alone trough each awful day,alone when i finally meet the blackness.Im alone in my horror.Alone in my horror.I dont want to be alone.I have never wanted.I fucking hate it.But it is what it is.
Everybody leaves.Dont lie to yourself.People go.And all of them pretend to care for you.Maybe they do care,but only currently,only because of circumstances.They forget about you soon.And i dont need someones attention.But this human,vulnerable side of me needs somebody,just to understand,and to truly care .Why?Does that make me weak?
4 comments
You sound scarily like me. Nobody cares about me. I’ve been ignored and forgotten for all my life. I’ve always been alone… I’ve always reached out to a hand that never quite cared enough to reach back. Always alone… I understand you, so very much. Christ. It makes me upset to think someone else feels what I do. If it will help, I’m more than glad to talk to you. I don’t want you to be forced into the loneliness that I was, I can’t allow that for another human being. Everyone goes away in the end, but I promise I do not wish to do that to you if you want to talk. I’m sorry you feel this way. I really am. It’s horrible, I would never wish this on anyone, it’s a truly horrible fate… I always feel like people’s care for me has some other reason behind it, but I promise, I will care about you if you want to talk. 🙂 I’ve felt it all my life, I understand you all too well… 🙁
this is so.. i dont know.so nice to have someone who knows what feeling that is..I would really like to talk to you,anytime,if thats okay with you.. 🙂
Ha, of course it’s ok with me! 🙂 it is nice, yeah, but the feeling itself…ugh!!! If you want to email then email me at idunnowhatever1@gmail(dot)com obviously replace the ‘(dot)’ with an actual dot, I just did that so the comment doesn’t appear pending. 🙂 let me know when you’ve sent one, in case my email is messed up.
i don’t see too many openly overt crimson glory fans these days – Shauna won’t set me free either 😉
attic dawg