living not even worth doin

First of all, take a deep breath. Don’t ever think about suicide again, please. Bullying is so common, it happens to a lot of kids, and you should be one of the brave ones who fought through it. Don’t be embarrassed to openly talk to your mother about it, or anyone for that matter. On the other side, some people even like being lonely, and that’s completely fine. Others are really open to other people, we’re all different. It’s better to find just one, or two good friends, than to be ‘friends’ with everybody.
You’ll get through this, believe me. Just find a good close person to talk about it, you’ll feel relieved when you talk to someone. Hold on, be brave.