I’m almost done with my application but I have so much pent up that I need to release before I can focus on writing it.
I went back to school this week and I had so much anxiety when I came back and after not being in school for so long I realize that school caused so much of my problems. I went back  to school and felt so bad about myself and I really dislike the feeling but the truth is I don’t truly love myself I’m not bullied like I used to be  because I moved  but the negativity that I felt towards myself was never erased and I’m still a  loser I know I’m ugly and don’t have it all but I’m tired of feeling like I should just suck it up  and move on but I can’t and I wish I was beautiful and wasn’t so guarded and wish people could see me for who I am but I guess that’s silly I’m a loser and I wish I wasn’t so sensitive so these comments would stop hurting.. I will never be good enough
2 comments
You are not a loser, and you are beautiful….I can understand the negativity towards yourself. Its a daily battle for me as well. When I can catch myself in time, I say this statement to myself. ” I love, accept and forgive myself.” I am not feeling it all the time, as I say it. But it helps me not hear the negitive voice in my head as much……I grew up feeling like a “bad child”. Due my sexual/ physical abuse…..I have tried to kill myself two times…and call the police dept. one time so I wouldn’t. Even today I posted about it. You don’t have to “suck it up” you have the right to feel what you feel. But don’t let it own you….
thank you but that to me is hard