A lot has happened to me recently I joined a support group so that’s why I haven’t been posting as frequently and I saw the social worker at my school to get help that was an alright experience she called my mom and my mother didn’t really understand and told me I should just pray to God and also today I apologized to my friends whom I cut off only two of them replied and the reactions are fifty fifty one of them forgives me and the other is mad and even told me “why do you even bother apologizing?” the thing is if you did something like that wouldn’t you apologize. I feel very lonely now then I’ve ever felt and I’m surrounded by people more is that weird?. I’m really grateful to all of you because you all because you helped me and after apologizing and getting help from the social worker I feel indifferent because it’s not  like things will magically get better it will be a roller coaster and I don’t expect much and to be honest I feel lost and don’t know where I’m going and finally get why people say life doesn’t always go your way sometimes I feel like if I could erase every painful memory or regret  I would if it could make me happy sad but true