First Post?
Yes, it is. So let us start from the beginning shall we?
I’ve been on this earth a medium amount of time, but I feel so much older, like I’ve been here since the beginning. I hate everything about myself and my life.
I live with family, bouncing from couch to couch, I live out of boxes and suitcases, but honestly, I don’t even need them. I used to go to school until my depression just got the best of me (I was diagnosed 3 years ago).
Before this..I had a pretty ok life, I was with the guy of my dreams, and I mean, we fought sometimes but what couple doesnt? Then he left me, said I was boring. But it was obviously a lie. My thoughts are scattered I’m sorry if all of this comes out in spurts :c
My parents never cared for me, my biological father was never around and my mom and stepdad were either drinking, on drugs, or throwing punches (either at each other or us kids).
I’m stuck at a dead end job, and I’m so underappreciated, probably because I’m such a huge push over, because I just want to make everyone happy because I’m not, I dunno.
I just know, that I don’t care anymore. I’m tired of breathing..
I’ve already tried to kill myself, twice. Over dosing is not fun in the least. The worst part is whenever I try to talk to someone about it, they blow it off, because apparently all I want is attention. And really all I want is for someone to freakin’ listen to me and tell me it’s gonna be ok. Even though I know it’s a lie, but it’s just nice to hear.
I used to do a bunch of drugs, and its just to expensive so I quit. (Whoo :/) atleast they made me feel ok, like I wanted to get up in the mornings.
…Eh, yea..I think I’m done for now. Thanks for reading or..whatever.
3 comments
Talking about this stuff is hard because it makes most people very uncomfortable. Therefore they blow it off as attention seeking. You gotta give people the choice as to whether or not they want to talk about this stuff with you, you can’t just put them in a position where they’re forced to listen, otherwise they will just resent you. So ask people ‘can I talk to you about something serious?’ If they say they don’t want to talk you have to respect that. But at least you’re giving them a choice in the matter
I know how you feel. Where im from, most people dont give two shits what youre really going through. They just want to have fun, go out, get hammered. But never listen. U just need someone to really talk to without any judging sometimes, ya know?
To expand abit on One_day’s points … often times the people that annoy or aggravate us are completely oblivious that they are even doing so – this can increase the frustration levels within us but also when something is finally said to the person who is annoying/aggravating us – we come from the position of “this is the last straw”, a place of anger/frustration/annoyance … and to the other person, it is completely out of left field having been totally ignorant and oblivious to the extent their actions had any effect on us … this sets them immediately on the defensive – and sets the stage for a high energy conflict
this is why it’s of paramount importance to “nip it in the bud” long before it ever gets to this point … when someone does something once that you don’t agree with – calmly voice your disagreement – more often than not you’ll be received with a “oh, i’m sorry, i’ll not do that again with/near/to you” and that’s that – this is obviously a preferable resolution than bottling up until it explodes into a big blow up.
of course there are always exceptions and not everyone is considerate – but there is always the option of removing yourself from the situation versus trying to get them to stop the offending behavior … for example, my friend puts aluminum cans in the trash bucket that annoys me … i’ve asked them to stop and they do not … analyse, am i being unreasonable? would an average person be upset? if so, i need to reassess why the behavior bothers me and find a way to be reasonable and accepting of others … but if I am reasonable (and “reasonable” is subjective – and it need not mean ALL or most people – just some) then i need to air my grievance to the offending person in a calm manner – “I recognize you might not do it at home, but when you’re in my house can you not put aluminum cans in the trash? we recycle here”
offer a solution, compromise or an alternative – “I would appreciate if you could either put them in the recycle bin or just leave them on the counter and i’ll put them where they belong”. again, at this point most people with either comply or ask again what to do since you raise the issue early before becoming annoyed or angry.
if they don’t ask or begin to repeat the behavior – remind them gently ” oh hey, don’t do that please, we recycle – hand the can to me and i’ll put it in it’s proper place” if the behavior still continues – you’re faced with a choice – your friend now knows the behavior bothers you and is willfully defying your request so you can either not offer then canned beverages in your home – or not have them in your home at all … or recognize that they have little respect for your wishes on this so maybe they don’t have much respect for you and maybe they aren’t the friend you thought they were in the first place … very few situation devolve to this level because most people are considerate.
but anyway you add it up, it ends the situation long before it becomes and angry fight – and that is what our goal is – no one likes to be angry and more often than not, we get angry because we let someone get away with doing things that we don’t like without speaking up in the first place long before we’re at our wit’s end. because if we let their behavior go for that long without telling them, we really have no one to blame, and can only be angry at, ourselves for letting it get out of hand.
zen dawg