My Dreams kill me

I don’t like my life at all and I’ve accepted the fact that I will always be alone, but I have these dreams sometimes that I have a good life and that I have friends and people who care about me. I hate having those dreams because those dreams give me a glimpse of hope. I don’t think I am supposed to be happy I think that whatever force of nature or God out there wants me to experience pain. When I wake up from my dreams I just wanna cry and just end it all. I feel that if I just didn’t exist anymore than maybe I could have a good life.