Reality

I used to think i’d be someone in life. I spent 5 years of my life believing in this dream, that i would actually achieve fame and fortune someday through my music. I relied on my lyricism, hoping that I could change the way hip hop music sounds today into something beautiful which in turn could be appreciated by a wider audience. But that was until today, when i finally realized how shitty my voice and delivery were.  I first turned to hip hop music when I was 13 simply because it was something that didn’t require having the ability to sing nor play any kind of instrument. I wrote excellent material yet I still wasn’t able to accomplish what I thought I would have. I didn’t have enough money to record at a studio, so all I had was a friends macbook to record on. Yesterday was the second time I had recorded a song. I thought the way I sounded had changed  from the previous time i recorded a track, but I still sounded as horrible as ever. That same dull voice. Now that I see things clearly, all I truly wanted was to secure my financial income so that I’d be able to avoid worrying about my mother working so hard. The only way to move on for me is to accept this life, Knowing that I will never be the person living in a luxurious fashion and settle for less as everyone else does. Yet I am not interested in college, neither studying any major, Every career seems like its going to be a pain – I’ve looked into so many of them and they all give off  such a boring vibe. Maybe the only thing I was interested in was Hip Hop…