She was my sunshine

Its hard, really hard to wake up each morning and not know if your best friend is going to be alive. That the girl who always made you happy, made you laugh, made you smile, might never again. Its harder to know that its your fault. Looking back i see how obvious it was. Calling herself fat, spending ages in front of the mirror, exercising religiously. I should have known. I saw her getting thinner with my own eyes. I don’t know why it didn’t click. Its fitting though, i suppose, that as i killed the girl who always made me happy, i never will be again.