If there is reincarnation, I hope that I come back as some critter with an easy life. Anything in the Archaea or Bacteria domains would be great. If I get stuck slumming in the Eukaryote domain again then I hope that I’m a fungus, amoeba, any type of plant or maybe a jellyfish.
Some people post about experiencing burnout on here but they are each DOING something: they’re working 2 jobs, coping with some stressor or maybe they’re students. They are balls-to-the-wall: of course they feel tired. But there’s no stressor for myself that I can think of. My nerves are completely shot even while I’m strictly not doing jack shit. As a younger guy I was a weight lifter powerful and curious yet sharp as a tack. LOL for years now I’ve been effectively catatonic without any excuse that comes to mind.
The Army put me on a tank and promoted me once per year. Driver loader then gunner, all night long in Bavarian winters at -20F then August afternoons in Kuwait in the mid 140s. My unit’s Soldier of the Year twice, those were the days long ago when I was briefly worth a shit. I’m grateful others share here, and that there’s Wikipedia and so much happening in news around the world. If it wasn’t for my reading and bits of writing I’d have nothing at all.
In grad school I added over 16,000 lines of code to improve an auditory scene simulator (and wrote a 225 page thesis paper about my changes) for an M.S. in computing science. The Army paid for my college degrees then I worked 12 years as a software developer seeking the most challenging assignments on the most complex systems I could find for the likes of Delta Airlines, Lucent, IBM, AT&T. Now I sleep 16 hours each day and often forget to zip my trousers.
When I got in line, there must’ve been a surplus of vertebrae this time around. Luckily I had a good mind too but it seems to have crapped out. This is a long strange slow nightmare. I’m hoping for eternal oblivion but for Pete’s sake I hope I am never a human being again. And I don’t want to be any sort of other animal, either: they’re smarter than they let on. I think other animals get stressed out too. Earlier, I was standing out front waiting for the shuttle to see a VA psychiatrist, until someone told me that it’s not Monday morning yet.
5 comments
Steve Martin’s IQ is reported to be 142. That makes him a genius. You wouldn’t think it looking at that picture. Allegedly he’s one hell of a banjo player too.
I’ve coded a ton in my life but you sound more accomplished. I’m dealing with similar issues. Burned out and my intellect seems to be fading on some days. I could spend a week in bed without a problem.
I don’t have a resolution to our problems but I wonder if we aren’t rewarded/appreciated enough.
Yes I like how Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters did Lonely Guy and The Jerk. 🙂
It’s strange, isn’t it embargo? For my own mileage, I think that a part of my mind was “spoiled rotten” by learning what I could about the sweetest things: applied math, systems development and natural sciences. Maybe I spoiled my dinner by eating dessert first. Thank you for your reply. 🙂
I’m sick of people thinking an iq of 140 makes you a genius. 160 used to be genius, and now people keep lowering the bar because they wan something to brag about. My iq is thereabouts, and trust me, I ain’t no genius. Most of my family have an iq upwards of 140 and they can be pretty stupid.
Changeling, I think you actually do sound pretty burnt out. You’ve done a lot. It’s tiring just reading about it. Also you’re probably one of those people who gets energised from doing things, in which case siting around doing nothing saps your energy. Don’t be so hard in yourself