It cant be a coincidence that I am starting to identify the realistic truths about how things are ever since ive started taking the drug risperidone.
I think i am schizophrenic…im becoming increasingly aware that my perceptions are and have been very off.
I am finally starting to see things for what they are… I will challange myself to challange my false perceptions and change them into healthier more rational thoughts.
Maybe then I will allow myself to experience true lasting joy without a conspiracy around every corner. I am starting to realise the truth : that everyone isnt conspiring against me.. That they dont have secret weird perceptions of me. It is so ingrained in my brain that it has become automatic. My life has been so severely affected by these ideas that ive convinced my self are reality.
Only until now its become clear that i was absolutely wrong for believing that everyone else feels the way i do in that they are always feeling paranoid and having these false perceptions and they arent motivated like.me but they somehow ‘know’ how to deal with it.
I was wrong : a normal person dorsnt have these crazy disturbing perceptions as i do. They arent handicapt like i am.
While I am so relieved to finally realise the truth and realize the reasons for my difficulties…i am incredibly angery that ive been to misunderstood and wanting to express how i feel so badly.
But i cant do that to myself. I cant change the past but i can change my perception of it.
I am really looking forward to seeing the reality unfold…
3 comments
😀 i’m glad you’re seeing the light. i think now that you’re more aware of yourself, your biggest challenge will be just controlling your emotions concerning your feeling of conspiracy with the truth that no one is conspiring against you. i hope you win your battle my friend!
Thankyou! I love the feeling of being normal!!!!
This is fabulous news!! don’t dwell on the past any more that\n necessary to learn how things were without the meds and how thy should be with the meds going FORWARD. Your future is new and bright and positive, but remember to live for today – not next year … also, it’s hugely important to understand that you will likely need these meds for the rest of your life – they are not really a cure as they are a fix that MUST be maintained daily. it will be important to have a firm belief that you MUST continue the medication daily to keep your head clear. also, be cognizant of the old thoughts and feelings creeping back in – if they do, get to your doctor as soon as possible because your body might become resistant to the medication and the dosage may need to be adjusted
All the best
pill dawg