here we go. almost two weeks ago, i woke up at 11:30 AM and just sat on the couch and watched television, my dads car was broken down an hour away from my house and he told me to wake my sister up, because she usually sleeps in until the afternoon.. So i went to her room and shouted “Tabby, wake up i’m taking you to the movies!†with a smile on my face, the more i knocked the louder i knocked, i got no answer, this is odd.. i thought.. i tried to turn the door handle, but it wouldn’t budge, i used all my strength to twist it and pushed the door because something was blocking that too, i pushed it open just enough to put my head through, and i looked at what was blocking the door, and it was my 14 year old sisters dead body, hanging on her doorknob by a thick padlocked metal necklace.. Identical to “Sid Vicious†necklace out of the Sex Pistols. She was just hanging there, lifeless, purple legs, cold body.. i ran out of her room, to the front door, collapsed.. Rang 000, screamed “MY SISTER HAS COMMITTED SUICIDE!†cried, screamed, “WHY? WHY?!†Because i was home alone at the time, I had to ring my dad, who was broken down an hour away.. “Dad, Tabby’s hung herself, they just pronounced her dead..†“WHAT?! NO, NO, NOOOO. PLEASE GOD NO†said my dad on the phone. He then hung up on me because he couldn’t speak. i had to ring my older sister and tell her.. she didn’t believe me.. Tabby didn’t even leave a note, she just left this earth.. to this day my heart breaks, i cry every day.. I don’t want to go to a counselor because i hate them. Everyone says they’re there for me but they’re really not.. Tabby’s funeral was a big closure, there were at least 400 people there. I got a tattoo for her, it says “TABBY LIVES†with an anarchy symbol. Because she loved anarchy. And now all i can do is sit down, stare blankly, i have no emotions, i have no one except for my dad, i can’t sleep, i can’t eat, i can’t think of anything else except tabby’s lifeless body, hanging from her doorknob. Now, PLEASE, PLEASE share this around.. My sister was 14 years old and she did this.. I don’t want other people to go through what i’ve been through, i’m only 16 and it’s scarred me for life, i miss my little gorgeous sister, life will never be the same without her,
Rest In Peace angel, i love you, no one can hurt you anymore, sleep well gorgeous. <3 <3
7 comments
This is very sad, my eyes already started watering since the first few lines…
Tabby must have been a very sweet girl…
It is really sad, what she did 🙁
Did you or any family/friends actually noticed some odd behaviour of her recently? Did she showed signs of being suicidal?
She didn’t show any signs, an hour before she died, we were laughing, mucking around, she walked into her room, got changed, put make-up on, and left us.
I feel she came to her peace.
she was amazing……suicidal people dont show signs, unfortunately or we wouldve stopped it. and i would be walking this earth that my 14 yr old daughter existed in. but im not, and my son, as above has made me very proud moreso now than ever. hes just as amazing as she was xx
I’m 16
When I’m cutting myself.. And then I stop it’s because I think how will be the impact on my family… On my friends… How much things I will lose.. If I die.
To get suicide, I think, you have to be valiant (not brave) but at the same time you have to be weak.. Because you are surrender to live… You are GIVIN’ UP.
Your sister it’s looking you from wherever she is and carry for you… Make her proud you won’t forget her I promise you… I swear you but don’t make her mistake.
When anarchy live in our soul you don’t have control… That is anarchy NO CONTROL OF ANYTHING OR ANYONE…
Please think about it… I am like you but not in the same way.
My sincere condolences… This is what stops me from killing myself. I’m a 39 year old war vereran. There’s too much pain for me to bring more horror to my own. And I hate not having relief… Kids just don’t realize these things. Don’t be mad at her. Something very wrong happened and she truly had no idea what else to do.
Tabby doesn’t have that problem anymore. Thank you for sharing. I know this will help many readers consider their decisions. May you find your peace, and enjoy your life together.
I am shattered because I am completely reproducing your feelings. The shock that you have received is tremendous. The issue now is how we come to terms with something like this. I believe the key is to understand that her perception of the world around was very altered as kids in that age cannot have the stability to assess things from the perspective that we older people have. It becomes overburdening and at a given point they stop realising and measuring the consequences. I would never agree that suicide is related to being weak at all. It has nothing to do with it. Every person is the best he can be with whatever he has been given in terms of genetics, and fundamentally emotional environment. Suicide is a matter of sensitivity to outer events and also what you have been given by fate or random. Nobody should force others to bring what they cannot from themselves. I am the best I can be, and if I had had a different childhood and family I would be different.
The lost of a dear one is no doubt devastating for each and every single one of us. It does leave a scar and it has an effect on us. But we also become more sensitive and more loving to others as we realise the importance of having someone to love or to be loved by.
The passing of Tabby is no different from having passed away of Leukemia or a car accident. I believe that what torments you is the inexplicable of this event, but as I said, taking oneself to that is equivalent of dying of cancer or any other illness. It is simply what your body and mind were made of. This is how you must address it. The next thing you must do is force yourself to socialize with other people. Seek particularly those in need and how you can make a difference in their lives.
At least, as I seem to see, you have a mother and a father and there is love there. That is a lot. Attach yourself to it and do you three maintain love around forever.
I am going through the lost of someone, but the difference is that she was the only thing left that I had in my life. My apologies if I have not been able to express myself properly, I also do the best I can.
dont mean to be rude but it is different, we have no answer…so sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you 10 fold, taqbbys mum xx